care giver

June 6, 2014 Leave a Comment

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

We are all caregivers.

Oh yes we are!

Oh yes YOU are!

You might argue that you don’t have an elderly parent whom you are responsible for. Or you may not have children to care for, or ailing friends or family to tend to, and you may not have any experience with assisting someone with special needs.

But there is more to caregiving than that.

If I can take the definition of ‘caregiver’: someone who takes care of a child or an adult who is sick or unable to care for themselves and stretch it a wee bit then I shall enhance the definition to include this: someone who shows care in the form of compassion for another who is hurting – whether physically or emotionally.

And what is your point, Laurel?

Just over a week ago, Ted’s mom passed away. It has been a wave of love and compassion in the way of all the kind cards that Ted has received from people. What a blessing to have people shower Ted with care by taking the time to send a card …. giving of their time and a few kind words. Many cards came from mere acquaintances. Yesterday at the memorial service, both Ted and I were so appreciative of the people who drove from the far sides of the state, as well as up from southern Ohio and Tennessee to be there for Ted and his family. Those travelers took several hours of their day when they could have been doing so many other things instead, to travel and spend time to mourn with us. Care givers.

So, you see, you don’t have to be full time at the occupation of caregiver. If you have received this kind of care already from someone, than you know what I am talking about. But if you see someone who is grieving and could use some kind words or a few moments of your time – do it! What you say and do is like a healing balm to a hurting heart. To know that other people love and care helps to make the grieving hole in your heart a little smaller.

Thanks friends 🙂

just Laurel

Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Proverbs 21:13 Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.

1 John 3:17-18 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

… see ya later …

June 4, 2014 Leave a Comment

Faith It’s Faith-refresher Wednesday!

My husband Ted grew up as a military dependent. His father was in the Air Force so he had the opportunity to live in many states and countries around the world. Ted explained to me how, when they would once again have to move, that it was sad to leave good friends behind. However, you never said “good-bye”. Why? Because, he explained, you most likely would see your friends again when you would by-chance get moved and stationed in the same location. So instead, it was always “See you later!”

Through the years of Ted’s childhood, he can recall countless times when all their household belongings would be packed up to move with the family to a new location. If they were heading off to another country, then all their belongings would go into storage until they returned to the states.

One childhood item that has become a treasure to Ted and his sisters was the cookie jar. This cute little bear cookie jar with a yellow hat for a lid miraculously traveled over fifty years from home to home with Ted’s family. It was amazing that the cookie jar made it through so many travels unbroken. And then there were the times it was in storage with everything else, only to be unpacked in a new home to be placed on the refrigerator – out of easy reach from cookie-seeking children! They never had to say ‘goodbye’ to the cookie jar. It traveled with the family through the years to always be there again. No one imagined it making it, unbroken, through all those years and miles of travel. Ted’s mom occasionally joked how she thought that someday, THAT would be the item the kids would wrestle for ownership of.

Ted’s mom went home to heaven last week. Yesterday, Ted and I picked up some relatives from the airport that had flown in for today’s memorial service. As we entered the house, Ted’s sisters were holding the cookie jar and teased Ted that mom’s ashes were going to be placed in the cookie jar. There were many items in the house the ashes could go in, but the cookie jar had a lid –and what better item than that? Of course, they were kidding. Then they talked about how mom always thought the cookie jar would cause some rivalry but then both sisters said, “Here, Ted, you take it.” They willingly gave it to Ted without a fight. I think they knew that through the years, Ted was the one who took the most opportunities to climb the counters to try and steal a cookie from the top-of-the-fridge cookie jar.

It made me think 🙂

Ted’s mom was a woman who loved God and knew that someday she would be going home to heaven. I don’t know how people who don’t have that faith or belief can live life without the fear of where they will go when death takes them from this earthly life. We are glad that mom is free from pain and in the presence of her Lord and Savior, but we are sad … because we miss her. The wonderful thing is, that as fellow believers in Christ, we never really have to say ‘goodbye’ to our loved ones. We only need to say “See you later.”

Just like that magic cookie jar that was part of the family, it would disappear into storage when the family was overseas. No one saw it for months or years. And then they would move to a new home and the cookie jar would appear! See you later cookie jar!

Life is a journey where we cross paths all the time with friends and loved ones. And then loved ones leave us to go to their final home. It’s sad. We will miss them for a time. But God loves us so much that He sent His son to pay the price of our wrongs so that all we need to do is believe in Him and we can have everlasting life. Our final home. Heaven.

See ya later mom.

Just Laurel

John 14:2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

strength

June 2, 2014 Leave a Comment

Tell me more (about SB) Mondays.

Spina bifida parents are strong people! We encourage, fight, motivate, persist, explore, sacrifice, endure, cheer, and never stop when it comes to helping our children become the best they can be. Of course, these are things that ALL parents do … but SB parents sometimes have to come up with extra doses.

One of my favorite online groups associated with the SB community is the Facebook page, “Take That! Spina Bifida”. Their purpose is: “Celebrating the everyday victories. This group is a place to post photos, videos, or updates when you or your child do something they were never supposed to be able to do.”

The other day, someone on the page asked the question, “What quotes/mottos do people live by on here regarding living with SB?” The resulting answers were inspiring to say the least! I had to share them with you.

Here’s a generous dose of inspiration and motivation for all:

For every mountain, there is a miracle.

Nothing is impossible with Him.

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.
Maya Angelou

All great achievements require time.
Maya Angelou

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.
Maya Angelou

Can’t never did a damned thing, unless, until he tried.

I’m through accepting limits because someone says they’re so. Some things I cannot change but ‘til I try I’ll never know.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out…
Walter Winchel

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
Helen Keller

“Whining is only acceptable when you’re whining to someone who can make a diﬀerence.”
Marilyn Hamilton, the creator of Quickie Wheelchairs

“Let’s stop “tolerating” or “accepting” difference, as if we’re so much better for not being different in the first place. Instead, let’s celebrate difference, because in this world it takes a lot of guts to be different.”
Kate Bornstein

“Disability is not a brave struggle or ‘courage in the face of adversity.’ Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live.”
Neil Marcus

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”
Scott Hamilton

“It was ability that mattered, not disability, which is a word I’m not crazy about using.”
Marlee Matlin

I don’t have a dis-ability, I have a different-ability.
Robert Michael Hensel

When everyone else says you can’t, determination says,”YES YOU CAN.”
Robert M. Hensel

I never said it would be easy I only said it would be worth it.

“Rejoice in HOPE, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

“If you can dream it, you can do it!” and
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Walt Disney

No matter how bad my situation someone always has things worse.

Proverb 3 5-6 Trust in The Lord with all thine heart lean not to thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

Born to be weird….

The sky is the limit.

Oz never gave nothing to the Tin Man that he didn’t already have.

Psalm 139:14, “I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I also like life is not a sprint, it is a marathon.

Philippians 4:13 — I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

just Laurel

restore

May 31, 2014 2 Comments

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

Hey all you caregivers out there.

I understand.

You put the needs of that person you care for before your own. And then everybody tells you to take time for yourself. But you don’t feel like you can. You are too busy.

We’ve had issues with Amanda lately – health issues – and a change of agency services for her as well as a new case worker. Ahhhh! It can be overwhelming. On top of that, I have a job and church responsibilities. What? Take time for myself? Ha. I was too stressed to do that!

I kind of felt like this:

Until…

My toenails.

Yeah … they were getting kinda long and with the warm sandal weather happening that all I really wanted was a pedicure. So, Amanda seemed to be doing well today and I felt caught up on things. Many stressful issues were not so stressful today. I called to schedule a last minute pedicure for this afternoon. I figured they would probably be booked but I tried anyways. Viola! They had an opening just when I wanted it. Now look at my tootsies!

Oh I did not solve the problems of the world today. But I got a pedicure. And my feet felt wonderful and my toes look cute. I am happy.

Take time for yourselves fellow caregivers. You’re worth it. And it will make you happy.

But then…

You can get back to work.

By the way – the color on my toenails? It’s called ‘My Chihuahua Bites.’

Fitting don’t ya think?

just Laurel

Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

…glad I did…

May 29, 2014 1 Comment

Faith It’s Faith-refresher Wednesday!

A friend posted this picture and bit of inspiration on Facebook this morning. I liked it and thought I should repost it but I didn’t. Ehh … I figured I would get another dose of inspiration tomorrow from somewhere else. But it still nagged at me … it seemed so important … but I didn’t know how to share it.

Then I got a phone call.

Ted’s mom had gone to the hospital several days ago with chest pain. After tests and several days of hospitalization, it was determined that she had not had a heart attack and they were working on getting her better so to send her home. Ted’s dad called and after our exchange of “Hello” and “Hello” he exclaimed, “Mom went home today.” “Oh great – you guys are home from the hospital?” I replied. “No, mom went home,” he repeated.

“No…” I said.

Mom had been battling the long term effects of rheumatoid arthritis. It had weakened and stiffened her heart and lungs. She is a hero in both Ted’s and my eyes for the years of pain and challenges she endured – and endured for the most part with little complaining. She valued life and fought hard. But for the past weeks, it had become so hard to breathe. I believe God decided she had fought and suffered enough and called her home to Him. He snatched her away from us lowly people here and wanted to see her moving painlessly and with joy on those streets of gold.

So the above picture and saying suddenly hit home in a big way. How thankful we are for the “I’m glad I did’s” that occurred. Ted had just spoken on the phone last evening with his mom. He told me today, “I’m glad I talked to her last night.” And our daughter Jillian and her husband had taken the time this past April to stop and see her on their hurried trip across the state before leaving the country. They were “glad they did.”

Mom Greshel was a woman of faith who was an inspiration to us all. I thank her for being mom to my husband who she raised to be a man of God. Ted loves his Lord with all his heart and adores his wife and children. Her are two photos of her and Ted’s dad with their first born – Teddy!

And now, another bit of inspiration that was posted on Facebook as people today mourn the passing of Maya Angelou. I did not know who she was. But I have seen many quotes by her today. And as the family of Lois Greshel cry at her departure from this life, let us remember what is really important in life.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

I know that I am going to try to keep living life doing things that “I’m glad I did.” By the time you “wish you had” it’s too late.

… love you Mom Greshel …

just Laurel

Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

defects and decorations

May 26, 2014 Leave a Comment

Tell me more (about SB) Mondays.

How far back can we find cases of spina bifida? Is it a relatively newer birth defect? I thought I’d do some investigating.

I was stunned!

Didja know ….

… that in the tomb of King Tut, there was discovered a wooden box with 2 small mummified fetuses? Some historians believe that young King Tut had no children – but he was certainly old enough to sire children and indeed had a wife. But the fact is there WERE two fetuses discovered and whether they were Tut’s children or not is beside the point. The point is … they were there and radiography strongly suggested that one of the children “had a condition known as Sprengel’s deformity, with congenitally high right scapula, spina bifida and scoliosis.” Read more: http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/tutchildren.htm#ixzz32p467ZkE

A little more google searching gave me some more limited information. The actual first recorded case of spina bifida was in Arabia in the year 1085 AD. The name was given to the condition by a Dutchman named Nicolaas Tulgius in the year 1637. And the final fact I could scrounge up was that a fetus found in 1881 showed that spina bifida occurs in the first month of pregnancy. (uh … they ‘found’ it? Too many unanswered questions here!)

So there you have it – a bit of spina bifida trivia.

I feel it more important to share with you some trivia Fox News had today – to recognize it being Memorial Day.

Didja know …

The first Memorial Day was celebrated in 1868 – after the Civil War ended. It was created as a special day where the graves of those who gave their lives for their country would be recognized by placing flowers on their graves. It was the day you were supposed to decorate the graves – hence its original name of Decoration Day.

Now here’s the stunner.

The Fox News correspondent gave us 3 numbers to pick from that was the amount of lives given for our freedom. They ranged from 300,000 to 1.3 million. And the answer is …

1.3 million.

So many lives given. For us.

Please remember those who gave their lives so that we may live freely in the great United States of America. Count your blessings folks.

Just Laurel

the game

May 23, 2014 Leave a Comment

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

Sometimes caregiving makes you feel like you are playing a game.

I like to play games. But I don’t like playing this game.

It feels like …

… like I am forced to play a game of football every day. Now I like to watch football games when it is someone I know who is playing or a big game like the Superbowl. But I don’t play the game.

Oftentimes caregivers are forced to make decisions for the well-being of the loved one they care for. Sometimes that loved one does not understand the decisions that are made for them and may rebel at what may be planned. Doctors, therapists, and caseworkers may not be on the same page with the caregiver and may even fight against your plans and sabotage everything by adding negative comments for the cared one to hear.

Ted and I only want the best for Amanda. Due to health concerns, we have been forced to make changes that she is not dealing well with. We really want her to be happy, healthy, and thriving. But almost every day for the past month I feel like I have to wake up and go play the game. If the football is a measure of where Amanda’s health is and a touchdown is the ultimate good place we can end up with her, then every day I feel like I struggle to gain yardage and move the ball. The defense against me is brutal. Delays in processing the paperwork, phone calls that are not returned, people adding their negative two cents, and misinformation that mucks things up are all defenses that seem to batter me. Some days I look up and I even see Amanda on the other team playing against me.

Any caregivers out there feel the same way?

Yesterday I decided, finally, to have a day where I was NOT going to play the game. I was tired of chasing people with phone calls, worrying about deadlines, and wondering if I was truly making the right choices. I was too tired to play. I was almost too tired to even care. And then …

I just prayed and let it go. I asked God to handle it all. I did just one thing today that enabled us to have more time to make and fulfill our decisions, but otherwise I stopped worrying and I stopped making phone calls. I guess you could say we are in a very long time out.

It is refreshing to not have to wear myself out with playing the game today. It is giving me time to relax and reevaluate.

So if you are a caregiver and you are stuck playing the game – you know what I mean – and I know how you feel. But I have found that it seems like a good thing to demand a time out every once in a while so I am passing on that suggestion to you.

But don’t you worry – I will be back playing the game soon!

I may change my strategy or even try for the field goal.

Just Laurel

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

what we do not see

May 21, 2014 1 Comment

It’s Faith-refresher Wednesday!

It’s been a couple of weeks since Mother’s Day, but I wanted to share with you my gifts from that day.

My oldest daughter, Amanda, made me a homemade card. Bless her heart. That was a big project for her! The cat looks just like her sister’s cat, Oliver.

My youngest daughter, Jillian, and I got to visit with a Skype chat. She’s two thousand miles away so that was the best present I could have gotten from her from so far – a face to face chat!

My middle daughter Kristen phoned me. It’s always nice to talk to Kristen. Little does she know that she gave me a huge gift on Mother’s day!

Last summer, Kristen and her husband Ric toiled over the planter area in front of my living room windows. I do not have a green thumb and it was a sad rectangle of dirt and weeds. Ric and Kristen pulled weeds, planted all kinds of perennials and mulched the area. It looked awesome!

Of course everything looked like it died over the winter and the one shrub looked like a stick skeleton! On Mother’s day (after endless freezing weather) things finally warmed up and I had so many plants that suddenly peeked and poked through the brown dirt to show new growth! I was thrilled! I took pictures today that you can see on the left to show how well everything is growing.

It made me think 🙂

So many times when we pray to God for strength, or an answer, or guidance, or new direction, it can seem like our prayers are not heard. In our impatient desire for immediate answers, we may feel as though our prayerful pleas have fallen on cold frozen ground. There they lie lifeless and forgotten.

Fear not! God DOES hear our prayers. Always. But it might not be the right time, or place, or situation yet for our answer! He may be making the changes – unbeknownst to us – to give us our answer. There may be people or other things that first must change or rearrange to be part of God’s answer to us. Just like those plants that hid beneath the dirt in my front planter – I saw no growth and no sign of them all winter. But when the time was right, it was a miracle to see those lovely leaves unfold and the green push through the dirt to reveal new life!

God hears our prayers. And God may be working behind the scenes right now on something special just for you!

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Like the beauty of fresh green leaves that push through the seemingly cold dead earth after a long cold winter are the sweet blessings of answered prayers that God has worked to create and grow in your life for you.

Keep the faith!

And thank you Kristen and Ric <3

Just Laurel

Book Review: Wife After God: A 30-day Devotional for Wives

May 21, 2014 Leave a Comment

I’ve had the privilege of being asked to write a review for Jennifer Smith’s 30-day devotional, Wife After God, Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband. Now I ask you … WHO wants to be more committed to doing daily devotions? WHO desires to be more into God’s word? And WHO would like to improve their relationship with both God AND their husband? Jennifer has answered all these questions for you in this inspiring devotional book!

As you work through the 30 devotions in Wife After God with attention-grabbing titles like: God’s Purpose for Your Marriage, Your Spouse is a Gift (I gotta read THIS one!), and Pure Joy, you are going to love how each study is laid out. Jennifer begins with a focus verse or two – that’s GREAT because we all want to know what the bible has to say! She follows that with her own insightful thoughts and then presents a special prayer. And then there’s the best part – she offers the reader a CHALLENGE! Now don’t be intimidated because this ‘challenge’ might be a question you can ask your spouse, or a suggestion of something you might DO or SAY to your spouse. Jennifer then concludes the study with a few “Journal Questions” to help you reflect on what you’ve learned.

I think the unique feature of Wife After God is that as you work at studying God’s word and strive to be committed to doing a daily devotion, you are rewarded through this study by creating a stronger relationship with your spouse at the same time!

Each devotion in Wife After God offers fresh and insightful reading that will make you look forward to doing the next one – helping you to commit to the 30 days of devotions. I noticed that there is a group study version available as well – what a great idea for you and some of your wife friends to do together!

In Wife After God, Jennifer uses Christ’s design of marriage to represent so much of His own love story and to serve as the perfect example to us. Thank you Jennifer.

more info: http://unveiledwife.com/wife-after-god/

buy now: http://unwf.co/wife-after-god

If you are a wife – I definitely recommend Wife After God. After reading most of it and analyzing it for this review, I can’t wait to find out how drawing closer to God will draw me closer to my husband!

just Laurel

SB Mondays …

May 19, 2014 1 Comment

Tell me more (about SB) Mondays.

Let’s lay down the basics about Spina Bifida for those of you who are unfamiliar with it. SB is a defect in the spine that occurs before a mom may even know she’s pregnant!

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”

Now think of people who have broken their backs or their necks. If the break was low on the spine, only the lowest part of the lower limbs is affected. The higher up on the spine the break is, the more damage is done to the extreme of someone ending up as a quadriplegic. So just because you “know somebody with SB” – that doesn’t mean you know everyone with SB. They are all different with different personalities and abilities. Just like any other person. Duh!

We had Amanda with us all day on Sunday. Short story is that she has not been sleeping well lately and it is affecting her health. (details for another time) So she looks a little ragged and she was pretty tired, too. (Plus she needs a haircut – she keeps reminding me – and we’ll have to find time for that too!) But I thought I’d share the photos I kept snapping of her asleep at the kitchen table. That’s Amanda!

She finally perked up when Ted asked her to help him bottle some wine we were making today. She thought she was something else bottling wine! She filled the bottles then helped load the gadget that puts the cork in the bottle. She was quite the corker 🙂

In the end she wanted pancakes for dinner! By the way – notice her dvd of Frozen? Her new fave!

So Amanda likes purple (notice her shirt), she likes Frozen, she likes helping her dad, and she likes when mom makes her pancakes.

I could tell you a whole bunch more. And I could tell you lots of funny stories. And I could tell you the things that upset me about her and SB. But I guess we all have kids … And kids with quirks … and stories to tell.

So Amanda is just my kid … and a kid who is her own person … like any other … except that SB dealt her a challenging hand. The best thing I’ve seen in regards to being dealt this thing called SB? There is a Facebook page called Take That Spina Bifida! … or TTSB! Love it! It’s a closed group but you can ask to join. But I love this group because they celebrate all the things that SB kids and people CAN do!

So here’s to celebrating the uniqueness in everyone! Since we were all created on purpose and for a purpose then we’ll just do the best we can. (And we just may try and kick SB in the pants every once in a while.)

Just Laurel

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 12:12-25 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.

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