My dad (aka: Pop) had a heart catheterization this week. He needs surgery to replace the aortic valve in his heart. It’s okay – he’s in good health and the surgeon thinks Pop will do just fine with the surgery. There is a new heart valve that the doctor wants to use that is actually still under trial in the United States, although twenty thousand of them have already been used in Europe. I was researching the valve today to find out more about it. I find it humorous that this valve is called the “Freedom Solo” valve. What a funny name for a heart valve. What will he be free from? And why will he be by himself afterwards – solo?
When I first googled ‘freedom solo’ I was further amused to have two different products appear in my search results. There was the Freedom Solo Heart Valve and the Freedom Solo Canoe by Mad River Canoe Company. I took the descriptions for each and reversed them – and it worked! Substituting valve for canoe, and with a little re-wording I found that both marketing descriptions worked for either product! First, here’s the canoe description – changed for the benefit of marketing a heart valve:
Care-free durability meets unrivaled versatility in this ultimate solo heart valve. A versatile valve, this Freedom Solo Valve is capable of allowing you to track across the flats as well as play havoc in whitewater. Head out with a week’s worth of camping gear, stopping to play in the whitewater rapids along the way with this durable, yet stiff Freedom Solo Valve. Unique from other valves, it features a solid, stable platform for regulating, lacking the twitchiness that is characteristic of others in its class. Comfortable for beginners yet rewarding for accomplished hearts, the Freedom Solo is worth getting to know.
And now here is the heart valve description, changed up a bit to market a canoe:
Freedom Solo Canoes perform well under exercise thanks to the absence of any rigid frame and minimal paddling. Freedom Solo offers a fast and complete recovery of the overturned canoe and restores the canoe function fast and effectively. Freedom Solo behaves like a normal healthy canoe with native-like performance.
So, Pop, you will be paddling your canoe in no time once you get your very own Freedom Solo!
After further investigation, I found several other same-name products – some you know and probably didn’t realize. How about Dove soap – and Dove Chocolate? I like the idea of chocolate soap – but soap flavored chocolate? There is Finlandia cheese and Finlandia Vodka. Ah – now that’s a nice pair! Delta is a name for an airline, dental insurance, and a faucet company. Michigan rooted Domino’s Pizza shares its name with Domino Sugar – I can’t see blending those two.
And of course there are people who share the same name. In fact, my Pop recently found out that his primary care doctor has another patient with the same name as Pop’s. They will be using his middle initial now in all paperwork. If you go to HowManyOfMe.com you can see how many people share your name. I found out that there are 37,843 people in the U.S. with the first name “Laurel.” There are 45 people in the U.S. who share my Pop’s name: Paul Rausch. (Go ahead and try it – I know you will!)
I don’t think the surgeon will mix things up and replace Pop’s old valve with a canoe. Duh. And if you share your name with someone else – don’t worry. God can tell us apart. Like the song says, “He knows my name.”
I have a Maker; He formed my heart.
Before even time began my life was in his hands
I have a Father; He calls me His own.
He’ll never leave me; No matter where I go.
He knows my name. He knows my every thought.
He sees each tear that falls and He hears me when I call.
I just love that song!