(Note – names have been changed for privacy purposes)

The other day at work our first patient of the day was a lovely woman I’ll call Rosie.  Rosie was in for cataract surgery and was very cheerful and cooperative with all of the staff.  She sweetly kept saying “Thank you,” for all the care we gave her.  As we got her ready for surgery, I was close enough to her to hear the conversations she was having with each one of us as we took turns checking on her.  My heart broke for her when I heard her story.  Rosie commented how, “Dr. Stone wanted me to have this surgery several years ago.  But I was busy for five years taking care of my daughter who had cancer.”  Rosie continued, “My daughter finally passed away.  I miss my daughter so much.”

🙁

My heart breaks for Rosie, not only because she lost her daughter to cancer, but because she was a caregiver to her daughter and was so consumed with the care that she neglected eye surgery for herself.  Bless her for taking care of her daughter, but to not take care of her own precious eyes and the ability to see!

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, “more than 65 million people – 29% of the U.S. population – provide care to a family member.”  That’s a whole lot of caregiving.  The caregiving includes care to dependent children, elderly parents, disabled spouses, and many more.  With the high cost of hiring care – more and more families are being called upon to take care of their own.  Being a caregiver comes with sacrifice.  Caregivers will deny themselves medical care and time for their own pleasurable activities because of lack of time and money to spend on themselves.  Oh boy – that can be so very self-destructive.  How can a caregiver give care if they are not taking care of themselves?  Pretty soon the caregiver will need a caregiver!

My book, Amanda, Perfectly Made, is subtitled, “A Caregiver’s Journey.”  It speaks from the heart of extreme caregiving.  It tells the pretty and the not so pretty.  If you are not a caregiver, you may be called to do so in the future.  Maybe you know a person who is a caregiver.  Maybe you need to understand more of what they go through.

Christ calls us to show compassion to others.  It is part of what we are called to do.  Some are more gifted than others in this area.  That’s okay.  But caregivers need to take time for themselves.  Even Jesus, when he was the most burdened with His ministry, would take time away to rest and refresh.

I have become acquainted with a wonderful website:  www.caregiving.com that speaks to all kinds of caregivers as well as offering tons of resources and networking that is available for all situations.  If you need some insight or know someone who does, please check it out.

1 John 3:16-17 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.  If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

Job 6:14 Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

just Laurel

I am so blessed by the variety of elderly people that I get to interact with at my work place.  Because we do cataract surgery, and because the majority of patients with cataracts are elderly, we get quite a diverse assortment of people to entertain us each day.

The other day we had as our patient an old Hungarian woman I will call Kate.  How do I know she was Hungarian?  Well, the accent was thick enough, but she also told me.  I don’t know if the sedation drugs were making her talk or if she was just lonely, but I also had a little more time than usual and was able to be her listener.  Kate told me of how she’s been alone for thirty years now.  Her husband, who I’ll call Joseph, had passed away in his forties.  I also heard how he died, and how her first pregnancy in their early years of marriage was ectopic and she was never able to have children after that.  When her husband got sick and near death, he told her she could get married again when he was gone.  With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said, “I could never get married again.  He was the only one.”  Before he passed away, Joseph bought Kate a young parrot to keep Kate company.  Oh yes – this is a true story.  It was a parrot that would learn to talk so that Kate would have someone to talk to.  Kate told me how she would cuddle the parrot to her chest and cry for her Joseph and the parrot would say “Don’t cry, momma.  Don’t cry.”  (Now I have tears in my eyes.)  She taught the parrot to respond to her laments of “Where is my Joseph?” with a squawky, “Joseph is in heaven, Joseph is in heaven.”  Apparently the bird could recite the Lord’s Prayer and sing ‘Jesus Loves Me’ as well.  The bird got ill in its young bird life and only lived eight years with Kate.

I had to hold the tears back from this sweet old woman who still missed her Joseph after thirty years.   She was all alone.  I suspect that the bird had given her great comfort.  But I also think the bird never filled Joseph’s shoes.  Kate cried for Joseph and mourned for him, but never got satisfaction.  Nothing would take the place of Joseph.  There were no substitutions.

I think many times we all make exchanges in life to replace the true joy and contentment that we can get from being faithful followers of Christ.  When depressed and dissatisfied with life, many try drinking, drugs, excessive spending, or other compulsions to find happiness and fill the empty space in their lives.  Personally, there’s nothing like chocolate or potato chips to comfort any stress that may be boring a hole in me.   It doesn’t fix things.   Sure tastes good, though.

Romans 1:21-23, 25 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Poor Kate.  I wanted to take her home with me.  I wanted her to be happy.  But the lesson to me was that we can find solace in all things through Christ.  Only He can fill all voids and heal all hurts.  There are no substitutions.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Don’t waste your life looking for happiness through things of this world.  Christ is the way the truth and the life.  You won’t find contentment through the things you idolize, or even a talking parrot.

Jesus.

There are no substitutions.

just Laurel

My life is playing like a country song lately:

Pa has been in the hospital again getting his ‘ole ticker looked at.  Having to run Ma back and forth.

Little ‘ole Mandy has been behaving herself and keeping OUT of the hospital.  And by the way – her internet service is down right now so telephone or snail mail for her for a few days.

Hubby has been working too hard and has many a night scheduled out of town lately.

Daughter Jilly is killing giant bugs down on St. Kitts.  She and Andrew had to wait more than 3 weeks to get their car fixed!

Daughter Kristen and her husband Ric have their wholes lives packed up in a moving truck right now and are heading east!

I am working too many days this week and just trying to keep everyone happy, healthy, and just fine.

My apologies for slacking on the blog writing.  Perhaps all this busy life stuff will arm me with blog material in the weeks ahead!

Psalm 9:1] I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

just Laurel

Crazy Michigan weather!  One day we are sweating the hot sun and turning on our air-conditioning and the next night we have to crank on the heat as a frost threatens and the house gets too cold.  Despite the crazy yet typical teasing Michigan weather and frost threats, I was able to plant my impatiens and get a couple of tomato plants and a cucumber plant in the ground.

The back of my house faces east and gets only the morning sun.  The front of my house presents two mighty oak trees (remember the acorns from last year?) that create plenty of shade.  Vegetable plants need lots of sunshine which makes the only possible planting area to be my side yard.  Between my property and the neighbors there is one long narrow garden bed about two feet wide with a chain link fence running along the property line.  Say hello to my vegetable garden.  It’s not much.  But I try.

About a week or so ago I planted a cucumber plant that I purchased at a local nursery.  I planted it late in the afternoon on a fairly cool day.  I situated it close to the fence and put additional mesh fencing around it to act as a bunny barrier.  We have too many bunnies in our neighborhood and they have quite the appetite for everything I try to plant and grow.  Every spring, I refer to our battle to stop-the-bunnies-from-eating-my-stuff as ‘The Bunny Wars.’

First thing the next morning, I hurried out to check on my plants to see if they had lost the battle and become bunny food.  I marveled at what I saw.  Overnight, the cucumber had already reached out with one long strong tendril and grasped the chain link fence.  “How did it do this so quickly?” I wondered.  “How could it be so smart?” I pondered.  As I thought more about it, I actually thought that this humble little cucumber plant was perhaps wiser than many people I know.  Who’s the vegetable here?  Here was one fragile young plant, suddenly planted in a new place with unknown threats and it knew to reach out and grab hold!  The cucumber couldn’t know if it was going to be munched on by a rabbit, trampled by a dog, or torn from the ground by a storm.  It sensed strength nearby and reached out in faith.  It held on tight and was ready for whatever challenges its simple little vegetable life was going to throw its way.

Why can’t people have the faith and wisdom of a cucumber?  Haha!

We say we believe in God.  Do we say it just in church on Sundays?  Or just when we are having a tough time and suddenly need his strength?

I prefer to wake up each day and clasp God’s hand, just like that silly cucumber tendril clasped onto the chain link fence.  His strong grasp gives me courage.  And if my day is threatened by people who want to devour me, trod all over me, or if the harsh winds of life try to unearth me from where I stand, I am already strengthened by my grip on His hand.  Too often people remember God only when things in life get tough.  I think it’s important to hold on right from the beginning and walk with God on the good days and the bad.  For those of you familiar with the old hymns – it brings to mind “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.”

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

(Yeah I know – now you’re going to be singing it the rest of the day!  And then there are those of you who also remember “The Old Rugged Cross:”  ‘I will cling to the old rugged cross….’  They don’t write church songs the way they used to, do they?)

So if you are a Michigander who is trying to figure out what season it really is as you plant your gardens, keep in mind the wisdom of a plant that sends out a tendril to hold onto something strong.

You too can be a cucumber!

Deuteronomy 30:20 …that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

Just Laurel

I got a good laugh the other day at work.  Before going for surgery, the patients where I work get some lovely sleepy medicine in their I.V.’s.  Most patients are snoring away as we wheel them into surgery.  It is a short acting medication and they wake up quickly when their procedure is over.  Any anxiety, fears, or bodily pains the patient may have had are erased and gone!  You may know the feeling.  As I went into the operating room to bring a patient to recovery, the patient had already woken up and was talking to everyone.  “Wow, that was good stuff,” the patient said, referring to the I.V. medication she had gotten.  As she pointed to the I.V. in her hand she added, “Can I have some more?”  I just giggled and had visions of the scene from Oliver:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZrgxHvNNUc

We had to tell the patient “No,” that she could not have any more because her procedure was over.  The patient was very disappointed.

You’ve heard the saying, “To much of a good thing?”  It’s sort of what happens when something pleasant becomes unpleasant because you have too much of it.  Too much food makes you fat.  Too much alcohol makes you drunk.  Too much sun makes you sunburned.  Too much anesthesia – makes you loopy like my Pop was today!  If this is your first time reading my blog, quick update is that my dad had heart surgery this past Monday.  He is recovering well physically, but has been disoriented from all the anesthesia.  He was restless and anxious today as he tried so hard to find sleep.  Anesthesia is good stuff – but too much of it is not a good thing.  Oh I don’t think he was given too much – but he was given more than my dad could tolerate.  He finally recognized me and called me by name after we got him to concentrate and take a good look.  And then flowers were delivered that were sent from his niece, Patrice, who lives in Massachusetts.  “Look at the flowers that Patrice sent, Pop,” my mom and I said to him.  “Do you know who Patrice is?” we asked him.  After a moment’s thought, he replied, “Patrice is my nephew.”  You were close, Pop.  Niece … nephew … he had the right idea.

If we would all simply be wise enough to seek direction from the great book, we would find that moderation is key.  Proverbs 25:16 states:  If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, or else, having too much, you will vomit it.  Yuck.  Honey is nice and sweet but I’m sure you would get sick eating too much of it.  Proverbs goes on to tell us in verse 17:  Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, otherwise the neighbor will become weary of you and hate you.  LOL  Yeah – I don’t want to be a pest to my neighbor!

The lesson here is:  moderation.  I seem to remember through the years hearing my mother say that moderation is the key to life.  Don’t overdo it.  But make sure you have just enough.  Wise words.

Here’s hoping you find moderation in all areas of your life.  Too much of anything is simply not a good thing.  Especially anesthesia.  And honey.

I don’t think ice cream counts.

just Laurel

My daughter Jillian and her husband had to put everything they own into storage so they could move to St. Kitts for her to attend vet school.  Ninety-five percent of what they had in their apartment went into my parent’s basement.  The other five percent or so is made up of the winter and warm clothes they did not need to take with them.  All that clothing is in Jill’s bedroom upstairs at our house.  They also packed up and brought to our house all of the dry goods that came out of their kitchen cupboards and other closets.  They didn’t want to simply throw all of that useful stuff out.  Every day, before they actually left the country, it was like I had closet fairies because every time I opened one of my closets or drawers I would find something new.  As I reached under my sink for the dishwasher detergent, I would find 2 new bottles of dish soap.  One linen closet suddenly had several new bars of soap and a liquid soap dispenser and the other linen closet got an almost full bottle of Tums.  Mystery boxes of tea appeared in the kitchen cupboard and my pantry – well it was bursting at the seams with all sorts of new groceries.

The other day I finally conquered the stacks of toppling food packages in my pantry.  There was so much stuff!  Some of the items that I knew I would never use got donated to a needy family.  Then there were intriguing and useful new items (courtesy deposits made by my closet fairy) like Arborio rice, bulgur wheat, organic quinoa, and a sack of potato starch.  Wanting to put them to good use, I started searching the internet for recipes using these ingredients.  I found a Potato Quick Bread recipe that would make good use of the potato starch – it’s a gluten-free bread recipe that makes two loaves.  I figured I would try it and pass one of the loaves to my neighbor who eats gluten-free.    I was able to gather all the ingredients except one – Xanthan Gum.  Huh?  What the heck is that??  I was pretty sure I had seen it on food labels before.  But I had no clue what it looked like, where to get it, or why I even needed it.

Here’s what I found out about Xanthan Gum:  Xanthan Gum is used by people who are allergic to gluten to add volume and viscosity to bread and other gluten-free baked goods. It is made from a tiny microorganism called Xanthomonas campestris and is a natural carbohydrate.

The potato bread recipe only calls for a teaspoon of Xanthan Gum – but it sounds like it will make a big difference in the results of my bread.  There are a few stores that may actually carry the stuff and I will check them out tomorrow after work.  After all, I do want this bread to have volume and viscosity!

Naturally, this little Xanthan experience got ‘ole Laurel thinking…

I had no idea what ‘Xanthan Gum’ was.  I read that I needed it.  I didn’t know exactly why I needed it, but I had to find out more about it.  And where to find it.  This mysterious new thing was intriguing me and I wanted to find out more.  I knew that with it, I would have a better loaf of bread.

It made me think that many non-Christians often realize that they feel the same way when they hear about Jesus.  Taking my paragraph from above, they just might say:

I had no idea who Jesus was.  I read that I needed Him.  I didn’t know exactly why I needed Him, but I had to find out more about Him.  And where to find Him.  This mysterious new Jesus was intriguing me and I wanted to find out more.  I knew that with Him, I would have a better life.

So – now I have made you all a little bit wiser with your new-found knowledge about Xanthan Gum.  Aren’t you excited!   If you have a friend who doesn’t know Jesus, why don’t you share with them a little bit about what you know about Him.  You just might get them excited.

Sometimes in life we don’t know all that we need.  Like, what the heck is Xanthan Gum and how do I get it for my recipe?  Or, if life is giving you challenges and you don’t know what to do or who to turn to, maybe you need to look for a little bit more Jesus in your life.  He’s an ingredient you can’t live without.

just Laurel

btw – I’ll let you know how the bread turns out.

I have not blogged in a long time about my contacts.  We are still at odds with each other.   Because I need correction for both distance and reading, and because of my astigmatism, I opted for ‘monovision.’  Monovision describes using one eye for up close reading, and the other eye for distance.  It works great on the days I go to work.  With both contacts in, I have my right eye to see what’s ahead of me while I drive to work.  At work, I can see patients across the room as well as see and write on the charts before me with my left eye.  As soon as I get home from work, I take my contacts out.

If I just want to read or I am spending time in front of my computer, I get by with reading glasses.  It’s either that or, with my contacts in, I end up having to wink at what I’m reading because the distance vision in the right eye throws off what the left eye sees up close if I am trying to read for prolonged periods of time.  All day it’s a glasses on – glasses off – glasses on – glasses off kind of existence.

As I was sitting at my computer today, I stopped to lean over to pick up a dropped sheet of paper.  Gasp!  Oh my.  I didn’t realize how dirty my kitchen floor was.  I had my readers on, and I could see all kinds of crud.  I thought my house was looking fairly clean this morning – when I didn’t have my glasses on.  Darn those glasses!  They ruined everything.  It’s not the first time.  A glance in the mirror, and I think I look okay.  Put the glasses on and then look in the mirror and every wrinkle, pimple, and imperfection show up.

I think sometimes we look at things too closely.  There’s a quote I read by an unknown author that says this:  “Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see clearly.”  I couldn’t agree more.  This morning as I glanced at my kitchen floor as a whole, I didn’t see all the specks of dirt.  The floor looked fine.  Upon closer inspection and with glasses on my nose, it looked filthy!  It was fine until I took a closer look.

It made me wonder about all the other things I look at, and what it is I am really looking at and seeing.  Oh, believe me; I think that details DO matter.  But not all the time.  A truly clean house is imperative for when company comes to stay.  It’s only common courtesy to provide clean sheets and bathroom facilities.  Details matter to a fine-tuned recipe, for many crafts and fine arts, and for doing your taxes.  But there are some things that just don’t need the close scrutiny.  I don’t want to knit-pick my friends or my husband and point out all the flaws.  (Like I don’t have any!)  By stepping back and looking at the whole picture, I can see how my house is just fine for today, my husband is as wonderful as he can be (despite his snoring – oops – didn’t mean to point that out) and sometimes my friends say things that irritate me.  I am sure I do the same to them.  It’s the big picture that matter more sometimes.

Next time I see something I don’t like, I’m going to take my glasses off and take a second look.

Just Laurel

Feeling a little yuck this evening.  I just can’t get warm, my back hurts, and the throat has been a bit scratchy.  A couple of acetaminophen and I will have this tired body off to bed soon.  Of course, I can’t shut the computer down without talking to you first.

Ted and I just got word that the father of a friend of ours died suddenly this evening.  So sad for everyone.  It happened without warning.  Ted commented, “Well, that’s the way to go.  I wouldn’t want to take a long time to die.”  I replied, “We all start down the path to our death from the moment we are born.”  He had to agree.  Just yesterday, another family in our church lost an elderly father who had been sick and in hospice for quite some time.  I guess that’s not the way Ted wants to go.  The difference is that in the first instance, a person you love suddenly leaves without any chance to resolve differences, say I’m sorry, or say I love you.  The person in hospice hopefully had the chance to say everything that needed to be said.

I have to thank Tim McGraw, for he said it best in his song, “Live like you were dying”.  Only God knows when our time is up and when He will call us home.  In the meantime, we must live each day as if it were our last.

How lucky that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day!  Now I am not a proponent of holidays that are created and exist for marketing reasons.  But, what a perfect day to recognize all the people you love!  Not just spouses or significant others.  You know there are people in your life who are a blessing.  Thank God for them and tell them you love ‘em!

And here’s Tim McGraw in case you need to hear that song again!

Just Laurel