So why are there so many of you out there who have never heard of spina bifida before?

I think there are two answers to that question.  The first answer is that most people with spina bifida also have hydrocephalus.  Every one of us has cerebrospinal fluid around our brains and spinal cords.  The body makes this fluid – nicknamed CSF fluid – all the time and somewhere in our brain’s fourth ventricle is the mechanism that regulates the volume of the stuff and gets rid of the excess.  That mechanism in SB patients is broken.  Up until about fifty or so years ago, people with SB and hydrocephalus usually did not survive because all this fluid built up and, well, heads would swell so big that the brain got squished and stopped all function – you died.  There was this guy who invented “shunts” (more about this guy on another blog) that helped shunt the excess fluid and … people with SB had a real live chance at living and thriving!   People with SB are finally living and growing up and making it to adulthood.  Medical innovations have given life to people with SB.  So, maybe you never heard of SB because most who had it didn’t survive.  The second reason is, unfortunately, fifty years ago the disabled were tucked away and shunned from society – if they didn’t die first.

So,

People today with SB are living and thriving and the parents who are warriors for their SB children are absolutely amazing!

Today’s sermon at church made me think about all my fellow SB parents … ‘cuz ya see … when SB joins your family, it’s like you get religious about it … it becomes a way of life … you become a follower.

Today is Pentecost Sunday where we celebrate the receiving of the Holy Spirit by the early church.  Afterwards, energized believers went out to learn all they could about their God, to hang with fellow believers, to eat together, and pray continually for each other.

Today’s SB parents mirror that devotion and faithful following to the cause of their children!  It’s awesome!  SB parents are INFORMED and will read up on all the new medical technologies that will benefit their child.  SB parents have conferences they can go to and often get play dates scheduled to meet and hang out with other SB families.  Whereas the early apostles broke bread and drank wine together, well SB family get-togethers include all kinds of food!  And any time one of our SB kids have a scary test or surgery, you can see prayers of support flying in all over the internet sites!

It is encouraging to see the growth of SB groups on Facebook and other social media sites.  By joining forces we can share valuable medical information, find friend with lots in common, enjoy food and fellowship, and support each other when we’re down.

To all you SB moms and dads out there – you are my heroes.

just Laurel

Acts 2:42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

It’s always a push for me to get myself to the gym.  I’ve found that if I go to work dressed in my workout clothes (because I change into scrubs at work) that I am more likely to go straight to the gym after work.  I might grumble my way into the gym, but I have yet to be sorry on the way out that I exercised.

There is a piece of equipment at the gym that is a stair-climbing machine.  It is rather like a mini escalator where the steps keep revolving around.  I found it quite humorous the other day when I noticed this sign on the machine:

“Control Zone!”

It struck me as funny.  The ‘contol zone’ apparently is the place to stand … before you lose control?  No.  Maybe it was the place to stand where you could have control ‘cuz once that machine gets rolling you would lose control and fall off the escalator.  Ha!  The little sign looks almost like a welcome doormat … so perhaps it is where you can stand to take control before jumping on for the ride?  Ah … I like that one

And then I got to thinking 🙂

When faced with a challenge in life, do we throw ourselves, unprepared, into the task?  I suppose if it is a sudden situation that needs an immediate response, we might have to.  But if we have the time to prepare for that big move, the job change, the difficult meeting with that difficult person, a loved one’s decline in health, or other such challenges … we can make that challenge so much easier to take on if we first spend some time in the control zone.  You know – that place where you can pray about what you will be facing so that God can help you through :-).  Why would you throw yourself into that challenge (that spinning escalator) without first taking control and arming yourself with strength from above?

A visit to the control zone is actually quite beneficial before starting anything.  Before starting your day? Before a meeting?  Before a visit with friends or family?   Why not imagine a doormat where you can wipe your dirty feet to leave the dirt outside … and then ask for God’s help before entering?

Can’t you just hear Rod Serling saying, “…You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the Control Zone.”  (Some of you aren’t old enough for this one, huh?)

Take control!

Just Laurel

Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you

Déjà vu, from French, literally “already seen”, is the phenomenon of having the strong sensation that an event or experience currently being experienced has been experienced in the past, whether it has actually happened or not.

It was a déjà vu day.

Amanda recently had a visit with a new urologist and he ordered an abdominal ultrasound.  Okay.  That’s easy enough.  His office actually does them and we were scheduled for first thing this morning.  Just as we were ready to leave the house, the office called to tell us that the ultrasound tech would not be in today and could I reschedule?  Drat.  I had already made sure to be off work today and had gotten Amanda from her apartment and they wanted us to pick another day.  Phooey.  A couple of phone calls later and we were able to get it scheduled this morning and actually at another facility that was quite close to our home.  The results could be sent to the urologist’s office.

We made the trip to the medical center and waited for our turn.   The tech called Amanda’s name and as I looked up at him – SLAM! – I was hit with a mega dose of déjà vu.  This was the same tech that did my ultrasound when I was pregnant with Amanda – thirty years ago – at the same hospital.

He recognized me because his family actually was members of my church thirty years ago.  During Amanda’s ultrasound we both asked the polite questions back and forth:  “How’s your family?  How long have you worked here?  How have things been?”  Etc.  I reminded him that “this was where it all began” with our journey down Spina Bifida Lane with Amanda.  I told him that I wrote about him in my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made.  I remembered our exchange of pleasantries as he scanned me thirty years ago – and said nothing about what he saw.  He couldn’t say anything because only the doctor can say what was seen.  He certainly had seen Amanda’s hydrocephalus but had to pretend that all was well.  So here he is scanning Amanda today – and of course he still can’t say anything.  With my nurse’s dose of anatomy classes in my head, I tried to figure out what images his scanning was projecting on the screen.  At one point I exclaimed, “Ooo – what is that?”  After a brief uncomfortable pause I answered the question myself with, “Oh – you can’t tell me, can you?”  “No,” he responded.

Déjà vu.

I didn’t like today’s dose of déjà vu.  I struggled to hold back the flood gate of feelings from thirty years ago when I waited for results after what seemed like a harmless and benign ultrasound.  That harmless ultrasound ended up being the informative spark of information that ignited the beginning of Amanda’s diagnosis, and surgeries, and doctors, and … and … and everything.  As Amanda and I left the hospital today, I felt like I was dreaming while panic and nausea threatened to surface.  The ultrasound tech was like a ghost from the past, coming to haunt me.

I hope not.  I hope I’m just being silly.

Psalm 45:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Stupid déjà vu.

That’s all it was, right?

Just déjà vu.

Just Laurel

At the surgical center where I work we often get patients who do not speak English.  Because patients have to bring someone to drive them afterwards anyways, they logically bring a friend or family member who can interpret for them.  The other day at work there were two patients, a husband and wife, who brought with them their son to be their interpreter.  The pre-op nurse spoke to them first.  Next the anesthesiologist had a conversation with them.  I heard the son’s responses and they sounded like this:  “Yeah, yes.” And after the next question:  “Uh – no, no.”  And then more yes’s and more no’s.  And then when other medical staff asked more questions, he kept up with head nods and shakes and even more yes’s and no’s.

It was obvious he had no clue what we were talking about.

It really bugs me when people don’t listen!  Now, this family had an excuse because there was a language barrier but – Hello??? – Why bring an interpreter who can’t interpret?  He could hear us, but how could he listen when he could not understand?

Matthew 13:13 This is why I speak to them in parables: “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

Have you ever been in the position where you are speaking to someone and you just know that they aren’t listening?  They may be standing there hearing you – but they aren’t  L I S T E N I N G.   If your listener is not making eye contact, is checking their phone, or they are just nodding and smiling then they are most likely not listening.  If you ask them a question about what you just spoke about they will probably answer inappropriately and later will not even remember the conversation.  One time many years ago I had an old acquaintance stop me in the hall at church to speak to me.  She spoke non-stop for about five minutes and then said “Bye” and was on her way.  I didn’t get in one word.  I think she liked to listen to her own voice.

Isaiah 42:20 You have seen many things, but you pay no attention; your ears are open, but you do not listen.

Through the years I have tried to become a better listener.  In fact, I enjoy keeping quiet in places with lots of people while keeping my ears wide open.  I learn a lot.  Many times at work I keep my radar ears open as the techs talk to the patients and I hear questions and needs that I can address without even asking.

God wants us to listen to Him.  Oh yes, He speaks to us.  If I ask for direction before I open the Bible, I am many times rewarded with just the right story; just the right verse.  I hear and see God in the magnificence of nature.  I hear Him speak to me in songs and hymns.  He may be shouting at you right now.  Would you slow down and listen?  He may even be whispering because he wants you to pay very close attention.

Psalm 92:6 Senseless people do not know, fools do not understand.

Just listen.

🙂

Just Laurel

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
Bryant H. McGill

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
Ernest Hemingway

I told you many blogs ago that I’d have Skipper stories!  (See “Welcome Home” from 6/5, as well as 6/25, 7/5, and 7/8.)  Here goes…

Skipper the cat has a taste for rubbery things like some computer cords, ear buds, and hair ties.  When he was a year or so old, he ate a whole eighteen inch long elastic hair band (three-eighths wide).  How did we find out?  Skipper started puking every fifteen minutes all over the house until I took him to the vet and an x-ray revealed something stuck in his gut.  A very costly surgery later, we learned to keep ear buds and hair ties hidden away from our rubber-hungry feline.

Fast forward to today.

Skipper has been back in my house for about a month now.  Ear buds are never left out and I have one drawer in the bathroom where hair ties are kept.  This morning as I got out of bed, I stumbled past the ‘hair tie drawer’ and grabbed a hair tie to pull my bed head hair out of my face so I could get some coffee in me.  I gave a push to close the drawer, and noticed that it was almost closed all of the way.  The inch or two it remained cracked open I felt was of no temptation to Skipper.

A few hours later, Kristen and I heard a noise of mischievousness.   “What is Skipper doing?” Kristen asked as she searched for the source of the sound.  “Oh – Skipper found a hair tie, Mom!  You left your drawer open.”

Ahhhhhhh!   Nooooooo!

Nine inches – I measured – there was only nine inches left of the eighteen inch head band elastic.  Unable to find any random pieces of elastic on the ground, I must assume Skipper swallowed the rest.

So far Skipper is acting fine.  My vet-in-training daughter Jillian advised that I give him some stuff to eat that helps hairballs ‘slide out’ easier.  It might help the swallowed elastic.  Skipper is also larger than he was for his last swallowing episode so perhaps his digestive system can handle it this time.  Plus – he only swallowed a piece half the size as last time.  Only the passing of time will tell if he’s going to, well ya know, pass the piece of elastic.

It made me think …

We all have temptations.  We want to eat more than we should, stretch the truth farther than it should be, flirt with someone we shouldn’t, drink more than we can handle, give in to laziness too often, or self-indulge when we should be selfless.  How much does that itch have to bother you before you scratch?  Skipper must have had his eye on that drawer for the whole month he’s been here.  And today, when it was finally left open an inch or two, he immediately indulged in reaching that sneaky paw of his in to pull out the tempting elastic hair tie.

The lesson here is if we want to avoid sinful behaviors, we need to know what tempts us and how easily we are tempted.  I know I eat way more chocolate and potato chips than I should.  If those foods are in the house, I eat them.  I can’t stop myself.  Gimme, gimme, gimme!  The only way I can stop myself from eating them is to not purchase them and have them in the house at all.  Can you stop at one drink?  Or do you keep yourself miles away from any bar or alcohol?  Can you resist an inch of trouble without grabbing up the whole yard?

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

James 1:14 But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.

Whatever tempts you, I hope you can find ways to distract yourself.  God promises to help – be sure to ask Him!  Let’s not be like Skipper and, when we find the drawer open an inch, feel driven to get our paws into trouble.

Stay tuned for the continuing saga of Skipper’s elastic hair tie gastronomical adventures…

<sigh>

I’ll be here waiting for time (or swallowed elastic tie) to pass.

just Laurel

Let’s face it – if something is cracked it is no longer good.  I can’t think of a single item that increases in value once it becomes cracked.  Oh, it might still be useful – such as an egg.  Sometimes in the dozen that I buy, there are some eggs with fine cracks in them.  I can still use them.  But if you try to boil those cracked eggs, you will probably end up with a mess in the pot from an egg explosion.

The Liberty Bell is cracked.  It can ring but they are afraid to ring it, thinking the crack will lengthen.  It may be more recognizable as a cracked bell, but it is not a very useful bell if you are looking for a ringing sound.

A cracked windshield is bad.  You may still be able to look through it, but that crack will lengthen and weaken the windshield over time.

Cracked plates and bowls may have character, but they may crack even more when filled and even eventually break under pressure.

Cracked teeth are painful and unsightly, cracked open heads bleed a lot and need stitches, cracked sidewalks can trip a pedestrian, cracked vessels leak, cracked radiators in a car are bad news, cracked furnace heat exchangers are dangerous, and cracked ribs hurt.

Our house has some cracked bricks.  We think it is the rain and poorly draining gutters that spill water over the back of the house that has caused the bricks to flake or spall.  We have a brick planter on the front side of the house, and these bricks have been crumbling as well.  I’ve had visions of the back of the house suddenly crumbling and falling down like the wall around biblical Jericho!  We finally had a company come take a look at our cracks (ha-ha – I smell a joke there!) let me restate … we finally had a company come take a look at our cracked bricks and propose an affordable fix.  These guys busted out the broken brick and put in new ones.  Our front planter, back wall, and even a few broken chimney brick are now replaced.  It all looks very nice … and solid … and not cracked and ready to crumble.  They even had some simple fixes for us to help with the gutter/water problems in the back of the house.  Thanks guys!

And of course, all this business today of replacing cracked bricks made me think ….

What ‘cracks’ or flaws do we tolerate in our lives with hopes that things will still hold together?  If your marriage is being tested, are you going to fix the problems or let the marriage fall apart?  Are you suffering from some physical or mental illness that you are ignoring, hoping you won’t break apart before you get to the medical attention you need?  Do you have an addiction that is splintering away at your core and robbing you of self-control?  Are you harboring grudges and hateful, spiteful feelings towards a loved one that are slowing breaking your heart?

The cracked brick on the back of my house were not going to get better on their own.  It was a problem that was slowing getting worse, and the whole wall was eventually going to fall.  Fixing it now saved us a lot of future troubles and money.

Fixing the cracks and flaws in your life will spare you some grief, sorrow, and loss tomorrow.  They are fixable when they are small troubles.  But all the little problems act to weaken the whole.  Better to fix those little chips and chinks now before they explode into destructive tomorrows.

Isaiah 30:12-14 Therefore this is what the Holy One of Israel says:  “Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and depended on deceit, this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant.  It will break in pieces like pottery, shattered so mercilessly that among its pieces not a fragment will be found for taking coals from a hearth or scooping water out of a cistern.”

just Laurel

(Note – names have been changed for privacy purposes)

The other day at work our first patient of the day was a lovely woman I’ll call Rosie.  Rosie was in for cataract surgery and was very cheerful and cooperative with all of the staff.  She sweetly kept saying “Thank you,” for all the care we gave her.  As we got her ready for surgery, I was close enough to her to hear the conversations she was having with each one of us as we took turns checking on her.  My heart broke for her when I heard her story.  Rosie commented how, “Dr. Stone wanted me to have this surgery several years ago.  But I was busy for five years taking care of my daughter who had cancer.”  Rosie continued, “My daughter finally passed away.  I miss my daughter so much.”

🙁

My heart breaks for Rosie, not only because she lost her daughter to cancer, but because she was a caregiver to her daughter and was so consumed with the care that she neglected eye surgery for herself.  Bless her for taking care of her daughter, but to not take care of her own precious eyes and the ability to see!

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, “more than 65 million people – 29% of the U.S. population – provide care to a family member.”  That’s a whole lot of caregiving.  The caregiving includes care to dependent children, elderly parents, disabled spouses, and many more.  With the high cost of hiring care – more and more families are being called upon to take care of their own.  Being a caregiver comes with sacrifice.  Caregivers will deny themselves medical care and time for their own pleasurable activities because of lack of time and money to spend on themselves.  Oh boy – that can be so very self-destructive.  How can a caregiver give care if they are not taking care of themselves?  Pretty soon the caregiver will need a caregiver!

My book, Amanda, Perfectly Made, is subtitled, “A Caregiver’s Journey.”  It speaks from the heart of extreme caregiving.  It tells the pretty and the not so pretty.  If you are not a caregiver, you may be called to do so in the future.  Maybe you know a person who is a caregiver.  Maybe you need to understand more of what they go through.

Christ calls us to show compassion to others.  It is part of what we are called to do.  Some are more gifted than others in this area.  That’s okay.  But caregivers need to take time for themselves.  Even Jesus, when he was the most burdened with His ministry, would take time away to rest and refresh.

I have become acquainted with a wonderful website:  www.caregiving.com that speaks to all kinds of caregivers as well as offering tons of resources and networking that is available for all situations.  If you need some insight or know someone who does, please check it out.

1 John 3:16-17 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.  If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

Job 6:14 Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

just Laurel

I am so blessed by the variety of elderly people that I get to interact with at my work place.  Because we do cataract surgery, and because the majority of patients with cataracts are elderly, we get quite a diverse assortment of people to entertain us each day.

The other day we had as our patient an old Hungarian woman I will call Kate.  How do I know she was Hungarian?  Well, the accent was thick enough, but she also told me.  I don’t know if the sedation drugs were making her talk or if she was just lonely, but I also had a little more time than usual and was able to be her listener.  Kate told me of how she’s been alone for thirty years now.  Her husband, who I’ll call Joseph, had passed away in his forties.  I also heard how he died, and how her first pregnancy in their early years of marriage was ectopic and she was never able to have children after that.  When her husband got sick and near death, he told her she could get married again when he was gone.  With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said, “I could never get married again.  He was the only one.”  Before he passed away, Joseph bought Kate a young parrot to keep Kate company.  Oh yes – this is a true story.  It was a parrot that would learn to talk so that Kate would have someone to talk to.  Kate told me how she would cuddle the parrot to her chest and cry for her Joseph and the parrot would say “Don’t cry, momma.  Don’t cry.”  (Now I have tears in my eyes.)  She taught the parrot to respond to her laments of “Where is my Joseph?” with a squawky, “Joseph is in heaven, Joseph is in heaven.”  Apparently the bird could recite the Lord’s Prayer and sing ‘Jesus Loves Me’ as well.  The bird got ill in its young bird life and only lived eight years with Kate.

I had to hold the tears back from this sweet old woman who still missed her Joseph after thirty years.   She was all alone.  I suspect that the bird had given her great comfort.  But I also think the bird never filled Joseph’s shoes.  Kate cried for Joseph and mourned for him, but never got satisfaction.  Nothing would take the place of Joseph.  There were no substitutions.

I think many times we all make exchanges in life to replace the true joy and contentment that we can get from being faithful followers of Christ.  When depressed and dissatisfied with life, many try drinking, drugs, excessive spending, or other compulsions to find happiness and fill the empty space in their lives.  Personally, there’s nothing like chocolate or potato chips to comfort any stress that may be boring a hole in me.   It doesn’t fix things.   Sure tastes good, though.

Romans 1:21-23, 25 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Poor Kate.  I wanted to take her home with me.  I wanted her to be happy.  But the lesson to me was that we can find solace in all things through Christ.  Only He can fill all voids and heal all hurts.  There are no substitutions.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Don’t waste your life looking for happiness through things of this world.  Christ is the way the truth and the life.  You won’t find contentment through the things you idolize, or even a talking parrot.

Jesus.

There are no substitutions.

just Laurel