I’ve been mulling over this one.  I have this list of thoughts and sayings that I have collected over time as I read them.  They are saved for when I want to expand and expound on them.  But I’ve been stumped for a week now.  Here’s the saying that, on one particular day, really caught me and made me save it for later:

Trust the timing of your life.

I like the saying and I agree with it.  How many times have you heard people talk about something working out with perfect timing in their lives?  A house that finally sold?  A job that you lost but only to turn around and get the best job ever?  The timing of a vacation?  The birth of a child?  The arrival of a check in the mail?  And in many instances, we may have been surprised by something happening BEFORE we wanted it – only to have it later feel like the timing was actually perfect.  And there are many things we’ve had to wait for and they happened LATER than we wanted – only to find that the wait was worth it.

Some years back, my husband had taken a job in another state.  I stayed in our current house with our special needs daughter until we could sell it and join him in a new house in the new state.  Weeks went by and then months.  Over a year later, the house still had not sold.  We almost signed a purchase agreement on a new home in the new state when something nagged me in the back of my head not to do it.  A few months later my husband accepted a job that had him back in our home.  The new state was just not offering us what we needed for our daughter.  To stay in our current home with the new job was where we needed to be.  It was a long time to have the house for sale and to live apart.  But if we had moved and/or had signed the papers on the new house, it was not going to be a good fit for us in the different state.

Another example:

A dear friend of mine and her husband were happy with the two children they had.  It was not in their plan to conceive a child on the night before his scheduled vasectomy.  Their third child, a daughter, was a blessing to all and became my daughter’s best friend.

Let’s take the story further:

This same sweet girl grew up to be married and bear her own child – a sweet little boy who looks just like his momma!  What a sweet thrill for this girl to be able to become a mother and enjoy her son for two years before cancer took her home too soon to Jesus.  God must have some real plans for that boy!  And he is a blessing to his dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Here’s one more:

My daughter had a car accident after stopping at a rural crossroads.  There were cornfields blocking the view on all 4 corners.  When she pulled out, a large pickup truck hit her.  If the timing had been milliseconds different, she probably would have been crushed and killed.  Instead, the crash sent her car spinning and she got out with some staples in her head and some abrasions.

Timing.

My how a few seconds can change things.  And a few months or years can change things.  But to TRUST in the timing of your life?  So many times the timing DOES result in a good outcome, but many times it does not.  The key word here is the TRUST part and to whom we give that trust.

I would like to change this saying, “Trust the timing of your life” to “Trust GOD’S timing of your life”.

Ahhhh … now it makes sense!

When good things or bad things happen, we often don’t see the whole picture right away.  That’s because God CAN see the whole picture.  And as a Christian, if you live each day with faith in Jesus Christ then you can trust that no matter what happens, it is part of something bigger, grander, more relevant, and simply a puzzle piece of a larger picture.  We don’t always understand it at the moment.  Sometimes it takes weeks or years to see the whole picture.  And many times, we may never understand.  BUT – to trust God’s timing and plan gives one hope to believe that He has the best outcome in mind.

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I don’t know how people who have no faith in God can live a full life.  They can become so bitter and resentful when bad things happen in their lives if they don’t have the peace, strength, and hope of a future that God can show us and give us.

Trust God’s timing of your life 

just Laurel

ps  If you’d like to read more about God’s timing in MY life, go to my previous blog from 2014 where I wrote about God’s perfect timing following the death of my daughter Amanda.  Here’s the link for “part one” and it goes on for 5 posts.

http://justlaurel.com/2014/11/of-gods-gifts-and-perfect-timing-part-one/

http://justlaurel.com/books/

Amanda, Perfectly Made: A Caregiver’s Journey

If you would like to read the whole story of Amanda, my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made, is available at Amazon as well as online at Barnes and Noble and other book websites.

If you want to be happy, be
leo tolstoy

I love the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3 where we are told that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.  There is a time for everything!  Life is full of adventures and emotions.  Of course, most people just want to be happy.  Umm, that’s okay.  But I understand that you can’t be happy all of the time.  Besides, it is the sad and mad times that make the happy times even sweeter.  But I shall agree that we can all use more happy.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-12

We’ve all heard the random fact that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.  (Although when I researched that random fact, there was quite a bit of debate over exactly how many muscles are used for each emotion.)  But I think we can all agree that anger simply takes so much more energy.  There are a few co-workers at my job that come into work in the morning simply gloomy.  Their walk and their talk just ooze with slow sodden miserableness.  And that’s before they even start working!  How can they be wasting so much energy first thing in the morning?

I think that happiness is a choice and that too many people don’t choose it.  If you simply spend more time counting your blessings and looking at the glass half full rather than half empty, then it is simple!  It is actually childlike in how simple it is, case in point:

A few weeks back, my daughter shared a story about my almost 4 year old grandson, Henry.  He has a loft bed and was angry when his little sister tried to climb up the ladder to the bed where Henry was playing.  Henry tried to block his sister from coming up and got so angry about having to share his space and toys that he jumped off his bed and stomped into another room.  After a few minutes where my daughter briefly validated his frustration of having an ever present little sister, Henry looks up and says cheerfully, “Alright, I’m going to go play with her now”.

Simple.

He could’ve stayed mad and milked it for a while but, it was a quick choice to go play with her instead.  To continue to be angry would’ve taken too much energy.  He could miss out on the fun.  An adult might have held onto the anger.  That’s called a grudge – and adults do that.  And then adults miss out on the fun.

Remember the song, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin?  (I’ve included the music video below if you are looking for a smile today)  Love the simple lyrics.

Here’s a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy

If you continue through chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes, you will come to verse 12:

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

How’s that for basic instructions for life?  God wants us to be happy and to do good.  God also knows that it isn’t always that simple for there is a time to weep a time to mourn a time to search a time to love, etc.  But if we live and love and try to do good and trust God with our lives, blessings will abound and we will be happy.

It’s a choice.

It’s simple.

If you want to be happy?

BE.

Justlaurel

DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY by Bobby McFerrin

I remember so many walks through musty antique stores where my parents would peruse the many rooms full of tables and cabinets full of old stuff, just hoping to find a treasure. That was a good fifty plus years ago. One of the items they were always on the lookout for were these small copper luster pitchers, about the size of a cream pitcher. Mom or Pop would haggle a little with the store keeper and would end up paying anywhere from $12 to $40 for one of their treasured finds to add to the collection. The collection grew pretty large with maybe 30 or so pitchers that were always displayed either on the hutch or on a wall shelf. My parents were probably thinking that someday this collection would be worth a great deal of money. Fast forward to today. You can still find copper luster pitchers for sale in antique stores or on eBay or other websites. They are selling for $5 to $40 dollars each. Wait. What?
Everyone who had a copper luster pitcher thought they had something unique and rare. What changed it? I want to say it was eBay and the internet! Getting online made the world so much smaller and brought you in touch with others who had something the same.
Our firstborn daughter, Amanda, was born in 1983 with spina bifida. We were at the beginning of a huge 31 year journey that included far too many surgeries, doctors, therapies, and other challenges that come with a special needs child. At that time, the internet had not yet been born. The best support we had was the Spina Bifida Association that met at Children’s Hospital in Detroit ONE DAY A MONTH. If you couldn’t make a meeting, you missed meeting with other families of children with spina bifida for a span of 2 months. Relationships need to meet a lot more often than once a month to be productive!
Today, families with children who have spina bifida have countless ways to connect with others through the internet. There are so many support groups both local and world-wide. One simply has to do a quick search on their computer and can hook up with a local group, find friends, or even connect with someone across the ocean that might offer help and support with a common need. The world became smaller and you suddenly have those with similar needs and interests at your fingertips.
My point?
We are all like precious copper luster pitchers. It is no coincidence that the bible in Jeremiah 64:8 states: “ Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Each one of us was formed by God’s precious hand to be of a certain shape and design. But all too often I think people believe that they are the only ones with a certain grief, a specific illness, a particular situation, an individual challenge, or a unique trial to face. Case in point, when our sweet Amanda went home to Jesus in 2014, I felt like no one could understand my grief at losing a child. But it wasn’t a week later that a co-worker shared with me that he had lost his own daughter just a few years prior and knew the grief I was feeling at losing a child. I hadn’t known about his loss because he never told me his story. I suddenly was not alone.
The main point?
We all have a story to tell. And your story has power. We may all be the same in that we are vessels of clay formed by our Father’s hand, but he made us each unique as well. We may be shaped differently, painted a different color, and even bear different chips and gouges from the paths we’ve journeyed. But it is our differences that bring us together. If we can share our griefs, our successes, our triumphs over challenges, and even the joys that life brings, how awesome is it that in sharing, we can soothe, encourage, inspire, comfort, cheer, or bring hope to another.
There may be evils associated with the misuse of the internet, but I see it as the most incredible way to bring people together from all over the world that have the need to connect. Of course, connections can also be made every day with the people around you – simply tell your story or be a good listener and take time to hear theirs.
Tell your story.
Your story has power.
just Laurel
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
#Godthesameyesterdaytodayandtomorrow

… of God’s gifts and perfect timing … part four

So there we were, Ted and I, at three o’clock in the morning.  Amanda had just passed away.

What do you do?

We cried in anguish.

We called 911.

I told Ted to tell them that she had collapsed two weeks ago and had come home fairly sick.  She had, obviously to us, passed away, but we didn’t know who we were to call – the police?  EMS?  So could they come but please, I requested, no sirens.  It was three in the morning and there was no need to wake the whole neighborhood.

I picked up Amanda and carried her body into the family room.  Her bedroom was small and crowded with boxes of stuff and I didn’t think all the EMS guys and equipment would fit.

Sirens.  I heard sirens.  They were loud and screaming.  Oh dear Lord.  Why did they have to come with sirens blaring?

The EMS guys came in and hooked Amanda up to the monitors.  She was flat-lined.  Yeah.  We knew.

They actually asked us if we wanted them to ‘try’ something and we said no.  I know they understood.  We didn’t want to subject her body to the trauma of intubation and electric jolts to try to start her heart.  It would just have been an insult to her body.  I really didn’t think it was going to work – and if it did it probably would have meant just holding off the inevitable for a few more minutes or hours until her scarred lungs proved ineffective or we would be forced to make a ‘pull the plug’ decision.

With a quilt wrapped around her, I sat on the floor in my pajamas with Amanda in my lap.  My baby.  My firstborn.  The EMS guys and police officers were all so kind.  There were questions to answer and paperwork to fill out and phone calls to make.  One of the officers said he knew Amanda – that she was one year behind him in high school and he remembers her wheeling around the school.  A gift.  It just felt so good to have someone there with a personal connection.

At five in the morning, the men from the funeral home arrived.  They took Amanda’s body away.

And it was five in the morning.  And it was still dark out.  And the house was silent.  And Ted and I looked at each other and asked, “so what do we do now?”

We didn’t want to call and wake anyone – it could wait another hour or so.

We started cleaning the house.

Why?

Because we HAD to DO something … we couldn’t just sit and cry … and we knew it was going to be the start of a very busy day and week with funeral plans and family and friends and …

I also started making lists.  It’s what I do.  When there is too much to do, I make a list so I can remember everything.  I listed who we had to call, and things we had to do.

Ted and I simply started DOING so we would not be drowned and disabled by the flood of emotions.

And God’s gifts continued.

My first worry was how I was going to get sister Jillian home as she was currently in school in the Caribbean on the island of St. Kitts.  Thanks to social media I already could see that my friend Barb was awake and on the internet … and Barb works for a travel agency.  God bless you Barb for helping to make the plane reservations to get Jillian home.  A gift.

The flight we chose for Jillian had her flying into Cleveland.  All other flights to Detroit required an overnight layover in Miami.  We didn’t want that.  Cleveland worked out the best – and allowed Ted and I to get away from home and the overwhelming phone calls and drop-by visitors so we could drive … and talk.  We also got to bide some time in the Cleveland area at my nephew’s house and to visit with him and his wife and his mother.  We don’t see them often.  What a gift that visit was.

And I felt bad for dragging Jillian home – it is so hard to miss school – but the school schedule had a day off the coming Monday – another gift.  A little break In the school schedule that we could benefit from.

Jill’s husband Andy was attending school in TN.  Barb got a flight for him as well.  Jill and Andy had been apart for too long … two months.  The plan was for them to not reunite until Christmas break.  Although it was not for the best of reasons, Jill and Andy got the gift of five days together.

Daughter Kristen got several days off from work and joined us early in the week.

The love and support from friends and family was overwhelming.

And the food came.

And the friends stopped by.

And God’s gifts continued.

… to be continued …

just Laurel

In my last blog, I shared with you my travels to California and promised to take you with me to the next destination.

Here goes!

After landing in Detroit on Monday night, I slept one short night in my own bed before leaving early the next morning for a drive to Knoxville, TN.

My daughter Jillian was on break from vet school in St. Kitts and was in the States to be with her husband Andy.  (Complicated, I know!)  We shopped, dined, and played tourist for a few days before I drove her north so that she could fly out of Detroit to return to school.

The Smokey Mountains are gorgeous:

We even took a hike to visit my Falls!

But it was wonderful to see Andy, Jillian, and ‘grand-dog’ Roy:

Fun fun fun four days!

And THEN after returning Friday night to MI from TN … we took Jillian to the airport at 4am and headed to Grand Rapids to see daughter Kristen and her husband Ric.  We had a marvelous day ‘playing’ around Grand Rapids.  I didn’t take any photos that day except for a pic of the ‘grand-cat’ Oliver:

OMG!

Sunday was a sailing day and Monday was laundry laundry laundry!

I was pooped 🙂

Seeing friends is great – spending time with family is better than great!

Sorry to not be blogging about more spiritual or meaningful subjects.  I’ve been distracted and vacationing.  I just wanted to share it with you!

Hope y’all are doing well now that we have to bid summer farewell and get into the fall routine.  Just a reminder that bible studies are starting up at St. Paul Church in Trenton … I know it’s hard to take the time … so you must MAKE time and meet us at the Panera at West and Allen on Saturday mornings at 8am for the Saturday Morning Women’s Drop-in Bible Study.  Just show up for a lesson and fellowship (and a coffee and a bagel).

grace and peace to you,

just Laurel

Our sermon at church yesterday was based on this great bible passage:

Matthew 14:22-33 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.  After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.  Later that night, he was there aloneand the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.  Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.  When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them:  “Take courage!  It is I. Don’t be afraid.”  “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”  “Come,” he said.”  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.  “You of little faith,” he said, “Why did you doubt?”  And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.  Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

This is a great story to all Christians with the message of keeping our eyes on God.  He won’t let us sink, if we trust Him in all ways!

However, I happened to see another lesson in this passage.

The story begins with Jesus sending the disciples ahead while he finished meeting with the people.  He wasn’t worried about staying late.  He wasn’t stressing out about making plans as to where and when he would meet up with them.  He didn’t ask them to wait or keep the boat near shore for Him.  And then Jesus even took more time to talk to His heavenly Father.  And THEN He took the time to join up with His disciples.  And He took the shortest route – walking on the water out to the boat!

My point?

How often in our busy lives do we get caught up on hurrying and rushing to get all those important things done?  Even before we finish one thing, we are planning on what we will get to next.  Jesus had people to see and did not hurry or worry.  He tended to what He needed to do and caught up with His disciples later.  Albeit, He walked on water to get to them.  But He found a way to get there.

How often do we worry about how we are going to finish our college education?  Or where we will find the money this month to pay the bills?  Maybe your challenge is to get through the next week without a cigarette?  Or are you exhausted and wondering how you will survive those sleepless nights with a sick baby?

We are all trying to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ … and probably worrying ourselves sick about how we’re going to do it.  Jesus didn’t worry.  We are told not to worry.

Matthew 6:34  So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I think this is a great attitude that many spina bifida families have learned to roll with.  We can’t dwell or worry about, “Will my SB child attend regular school?  Will my SB child walk?  Will my SB child be able to _____?”  We take one day at a time, and we find different ways to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’.

The other day on one of the spina bifida FB pages I follow, a mom talked about her child in a wheelchair who saw someone jump rope and they wanted to as well.  The mom handed a jump robe to their child and the kid flipped the rope forward over their head then wheeled over the rope and continued on – jumping rope.  Adorable!  They were jumping rope – just a different way.  And all those wheelchair sports you see – people conquering sports while seated in their wheelchairs!  Still playing the sport – just in a different way! 

Why do we stress about laying out the plans for all that we do?  Why can’t we trust God and let Him pave the way?

It made me think of the saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”  Ewww.  That is really not a nice thing to think about – literally skinning a cat.  Of course, it means that we should all know that there is more than one way to accomplish something.  But I have to share this photo I found when I searched under that little saying …. Clever isn’t it?  That cat is being turned inside out!

This subject also made me think of the song, “God Will Make A Way” and here is the first part of it (google it if you don’t know it):

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me.

Spina bifida families out there – you rock!  You find ways to help your child get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ and the ways are creative and inspiring!  No worries.  Just one day at a time and strength and faith to boldly press on.

God wants us to trust Him in all things and in all ways.  He is probably working in your life right now – helping you with your challenge.  Just keep in mind that what might seem impossible to you is POSSIBLE through Christ.  He will help you get there – it just might be in a different way.

Even Peter got to walk on water!

Just Laurel

I made it back!  I’m home I’m home!

Guatemala was a life-changing event.  UNBELIEVABLE.

But now I’ve got 6 chances to share it with you (maybe more!) as I fulfill my response to the six ways Seth Barnes says that a short-term mission trip can change your life.  (Read my 6 previous blog posts beginning with the July 7^th post if you are new to my blog – that was the first of the 6 blogs I wrote about this mission trip.)

According to Seth Barnes, the fifth way a short-term mission trip can change your life is by connecting you to God.

You almost have no choice!

I mean – I flew thousands of miles away from my home in Michigan to be in a totally different place where I had nothing from my Michigan life to distract me.  Our team of 5 was on a mission.  We weren’t totally sure of who we were going to meet or what we were going to be doing.  But we knew we were there to be God’s instruments.  We had prayer and devotions at every meal with another evening devotion.  Each day we woke up to face the day and find out what God wanted us to do.  Of course, we fixed teeth, but we were also trying to make friends and build relationships … sorta like building on slanted streets – it was not easy to make friends with a language barrier and the topography was different and the building materials and methods a little foreign.

Making new friends was challenging but not impossible.

You just have to look for the similarities … like Coke!

And these young men showed up every day at 5:30pm to practice and learn English.  Bless them!

And how can you not feel connected to God when the scenery is so beautiful!

And some of the plants!  So lush and rich in color!

Overlooking the town of Antigua, Guatemala there is a cross up on the hill.  What a great reminder for the people of this town to have the symbol of Christianity – of Christ – up on the hillside. 

What if we had the shadow of a cross on our path each day as a reminder of God’s presence and purpose?  Would we focus more on God’s desires and not our own petty priorities?  Would we act and react differently in situations?

Would we stay connected with God?

What a blessing it was to spend a week without the distractions of my usual life and to connect with God through the other wonderful Christian people of Guatemala that we met and the beauty of another part of God’s creation – our world.

Just Laurel

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you

Funny that my blog today on “materialism” cannot be completed as hoped – we have a power outage at our house!  <sigh>

I am trying to blog from my parent’s house but my files with the pictures that I stored on a flash drive … well they must have flashed and burned or something ‘cuz I can’t pull them up for you to see!

So … I NEED ELECTRICITY!

And I guess I’m not gonna get it today :-/

So … I shall post today’s (Monday’s) blog on TUESDAY 🙂  If I don’t have power at my house, I guess I shall visit Panera and blog from there with a coffee at my side … after work of course!

Until tomorrow,

just Laurel

🙂