I heard a phrase today that I was unfamiliar with.  A co-worker firmly stated to another, “I’ll bet you ten dollars to a donut.”  Huh?  Have you ever heard that before?  I have not.  So I googled it and here’s what I found:  The phrase ‘Ten dollars to a donut’ comes from the phrase “Dollars to donuts” which comes from the almost forgotten terms ‘dollars-to-buttons’ and ‘dollars-to-dumplings’ which appeared in the 1880s, meaning ‘almost certain’.  It was usually used in ‘I’ll bet you dollars-to-buttons/dumplings.’ They were replaced by 1890 with the more popular ‘dollars-to-donuts’ (a 1904 variation, ‘dollars-to-cobwebs,’ never became very common, perhaps because it didn’t alliterate).   From “Listening to America” by Stuart Berg Flexner (Simon and Schuster, New York, 1982).

So how is the phrase used?   Normally, when you’re betting somebody that a certain event will or won’t occur, you bet roughly the same amount in the same currency. However, in the case of “dollars to donuts”, you are so absolutely sure of an outcome in your favour (i.e. you won’t lose and have to pay up) that you’re willing to bet far more excessively than your opponent. Your opponent hopes he’ll win but knows there’s a reasonable chance he’ll lose, so he bets small or insignificantly (1 donut). But you are dead sure you’re going to win, i.e. you know you’re not going to lose, so it doesn’t matter what you bet (hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars, whatever) because you won’t have to pay it.

I’m not a gambling girl and I doubt if I would ever use such a phrase as that.  Besides, there are so few things in life that you can bet on anymore.  A good job used to last forever with a pension in the future.  My husband Ted lost his job after twenty-three years with a company.  No guarantees these days that your job will last.  A house used to be a good investment.  Most of us wish we could sell our homes for what we owe on them today.  Friendships wane and people let you down.  Things don’t always go the way we hope for in life.

The one thing I can count on for certain is that if I live a life of faith, my Lord will see me through and reward me in the end.  Simple as that.  Certain as that.  It’s the only outcome that I know is true.  God promised us “that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  There are no bets or wagers involved.

Hebrews 13:6-8 So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”  Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

1 Peter 4:16-18 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God?  And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”

I am so absolutely certain that God will reward your life of faith; I’m not even going to wager you.  I could bet you a million dollars to a donut that He will give believers eternal life, but I won’t.

I can’t afford to eat all those donuts you would be paying me!

Just Laurel

The fastest route from one place to another would be by following the beeline.  Assuming that bees take the fastest and most direct route from the flower to the hive, then the beeline is a straight line.  After a long hard day of work, if I say I am going home to make a beeline for the shower, then I am going straight to the shower as soon as I walk in the door.

If we could always travel to where we wanted to go via a beeline route, we would save a lot of travel time.  Unfortunately, the roads are not always laid out that way.

In the Bible, to follow and live your life in the way of Christ’s directions, means you are on the straight path:

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 11:5 The righteousness of the blameless makes their paths straight, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

Luke 3:4-6 As it is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet:  “A voice of one calling in the wilderness, Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all people will see God’s salvation.”

Nobody likes a bumpy road with unplanned twists and turns.  Obviously God wants us on the road of righteousness.

On a sailboat, it can be very challenging to stay on the straight path.  If you want to get from point “A” to point “B” and the wind is behind you, there is no problem.  You can even get there with the wind coming from the sides with the sails trimmed just right.  But if the wind is coming from the exact place that you want to go, there is no way you can sail straight into the wind.  Oh you can get there, but you must zigzag back and forth into the wind to finally get there.

Yesterday, my daughter Kristen and her husband Ric sailed our sailboat back from Put-In-Bay by themselves.  Kristen has sailed with the family many times while Ric is fairly new to the sport (but a fast learner!).  They got an early start and were quite the sailors as they battled strong winds and waves, and Kristen fought back some sea sickness.  They were able sailors for well over half the trip home.  Finally, Kristen texted my phone and said they were trying to tack back and forth as the wind was coming from the exact location they were trying to go to.  She texted, “We have only 5 knots of wind.  It’s slow slow slow!  Thinking about motoring so we can make it to the yacht club by dinner!”

For each of us, life is a journey; a road we must travel; a path from point “A” to point “B”.  I suppose if one lives an easy, uneventful, and faith-filled life then the road has been straight.  A life with many challenges can be described as a rough road.  Sometimes we lose our way.  Many times we get side-tracked.  But thank goodness for that beeline – because as long as we know that the straight and narrow path is there, we can always get back on track and find our way.  And God is always happy to share the road with us and show us the way.  Remember, we have a roadmap – God’s word – the Bible.  And sometimes we can get a little help from our friends.  And if you’re stuck in a rut, maybe you need to adjust your sails?

And if you’re still not making any progress, sometimes you just have to turn the motor on 🙂

Happy trails!

Just Laurel

I love going into fabric stores and gazing at all the beautiful fabrics.  It’s like a feast for my eyes as I gaze at the colors, patterns, and designs.  I am particularly intrigued at what happens when fabric is pieced into a quilt.  My daughter Kristen is currently putting together a quilt and I am in awe at the gazillion pieces of fabric she has combined.  Kristen is interested in traditional quilts and the story behind the different patterns.  When I looked up some names for quilt block patterns, I found hundreds of them with names like “Aunt Sukey’s Patch” and “Four Little Birds” to “Twelve Triangles” and “Wild Goose Chase”.

In my book, “Amanda, Perfectly Made” I actually made reference to a patchwork quilt.  Here’s an excerpt from chapter two, page eight:

“Like a beautiful quilt being pieced together with fabrics that were chosen by both Ted and me, we had picked the pattern we wanted as we worked together constructing our lives together.  We had created the perfect baby nursery with fresh wallpaper, waiting for us to bring home the perfect baby.  The life we were planning, like a quilt, was starting to take shape when the fabric and design were suddenly changed on us.  My Monday phone call from the doctor changed our design completely.  As I waited for Ted to drive home from Indiana, we both felt our plans unraveling.  The road had turned, plans had changed, and the previous design disintegrated before our eyes like fraying fabric.”

Life is like a quilt, isn’t it?

Is your life structured and organized like a precision-pieced quilt, or more like a ‘crazy quilt’ with lots of disorganization and shapes?  Are you warm and comforting, or have you lost your heart and become thread-bare and cold?  Are you colored bright and cheerful?  Or have you faded through the years, a shadow of your former self?  Are you made of quality stuff and secure stitching?  Or are you barely holding together?

It’s an interesting analogy.

When my life is done on this earth, I wonder what my life quilt would look like.  It would be full of bright colors, for sure! … No pastels here!  My quilt would have lots of reds – because red in quilting is a powerful color – representing passion and love – from the heart.  And I think there would be lots of little pieces, but they would form a lovely pattern.  And there would be some crazy patches, too!  I hope that there would be at least one common thread running through the entire thing – my faith.  Perhaps that would be my gold thread?

If your life were displayed as a story in a quilt, what would yours look like?

I found no references in the bible about quilts, but cloth and linen were spoken of.  And there’s a parable about patches:

Luke 5:36 He told them this parable: “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old.”

And then there is this from Proverbs 31:  “She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Kristen is indeed making a king-size quilt for her bed, although she is not clothed in linen.  Her husband is respected, but I would not call him an elder.  And she does hope to sell her handiwork someday!  Oh my Martha-Stewart-Proverbs-Woman-Daughter-Kristen!

I hope your life is a beautiful quilt 🙂

Just Laurel

(btw – the photo above shows Kristen layering her quilt – backing, batting, and top – on my living room floor with all the furniture and rug pushed out of the way)

… and now for the rest of the story …

(Warning … the following blog contains a graphic image that some may find disturbing, gross, and nasty.)

If you are a regular reader of my blog then you are aware of the predicament I was left in when last I blogged.  Skipper the cat had swallowed half of an eighteen inch long hair elastic and I was trying to get it to move through him quickly without getting stuck along the way.  The last time he swallowed the same kind of thing he swallowed the whole length and required a costly surgery to unravel his intestines.

My plan was to use this stuff that “cats love the taste” of – a greasy amber goo that comes in a tube.  It lubricates the digestive tract to allow for easy passage of hair balls (and hair ties?).  The directions said to squeeze some on the cats’ paw so that he happily licks the stuff off.  Skipper caught one whiff of that stuff and was running away from me!  I had to sneakily grab him and smear my loaded finger of goo onto his paw.  He hastily did an angry paw shake, causing the amber goo to splatter the kitchen wall – and he was off and running again.  Some of the substance did stay on and I was happy to see him meticulously licking his greased paw while hiding out on the back porch.  He got several doses of paw smeared goo Friday morning.

Early Friday afternoon, I was looking for Skipper so that I could grease his paw once again.  Both Kristen and I called for him.  No Skipper.  We looked upstairs and downstairs, under beds and in closets.  No Skipper.  I had visions of him hiding somewhere, puking bile and slowing dying of strangulated bowels.  With him nowhere to be found, I told Kristen that he must have gotten out.  Out the front door we went with her going one way, and I the other way around the house.  “I found him!” she cried as I rounded the corner.  “But, he must have eaten some grass,” she continued, “Because he’s getting sick.”

Ewww.  Nothing worse than cat puke.

Kristen held him as he hacked and coughed up a frothy, grassy puddle of vomit.  I quickly found a stick and, holding back my own gag reflex, poked at the puddle.  Eureka!  A nine inch length of elastic hair tie!  Hallelujah!  It’s not exactly the way I expected it to exit Skipper’s body, but exorcism by regurgitation is fine with me.  As long as I know that thing is out of him, and there are no costly vet bills on the near horizon – I was gleeful with what Skipper produced.  (Yeah – I took a picture – sorry)

I have learned to keep the drawer holding elastic hair ties closed ALL the way.  I doubt Skipper has learned any lesson, though.  He’s just a cat and his appetite for rubbery things is just one of his quirks.  But perhaps there is a lesson for us?  🙂

If we choose to expose ourselves to the wrong stuff – evil, anger, filthy language, and deceitful people – then it’s going to make us sick and sinful as well.  Fortunately we do not have to literally puke up the bad stuff.  God wants us to have pure hearts and to be sinless – a goal to constantly strive for.  Thank goodness we need only to ask for forgiveness and we can start anew each time we ask.

Ezekiel 18:31 Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.

Ezekiel 20:7 And I said to them, “Each of you, get rid of the vile images you have set your eyes on, and do not defile yourselves with the idols of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”

Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 

1 Peter 2:1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.

Skipper was a much happier cat once he got rid of that nasty hair tie.  That hair tie offered nothing good to Skippers’ life.  Perhaps you have something to get rid of – some baggage or sin that you would feel better without?  Better purge yourself of it before it makes you sick!

Thanks for the lesson Skipper!  (Just don’t do it again!)

Just Laurel

Here’s a riddle:

This thing all things devours:  Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountain down.  (One of Gollum’s riddles for Bilbo from “The Hobbit”.)

The answer is (oh come on now – try to guess the answer!  I will tell you further down.)

Let me tell you about yesterday’s day at work.  At the surgical center, we start our day early.  For all of you who have had any kind of surgical procedure, you know that you usually are not allowed to eat or drink after midnight – so we start early so that you don’t have to suffer from thirst or hunger too long!  There were two doctors yesterday with only eight cases for the first doc, and just two for the second.  We all thought for sure we’d be done and out fairly early.  Well, there was a new piece of equipment in the operating room that a rep was introducing to the surgeons and other complications that made each case last so much  l o n g e r  that usual.  The day dragged!  We kept looking at the clock and it seemed stuck.  Contrast that to the work schedule today.  The doctor this morning had eleven cases and worked in her usual very fast pace and –whoosh- we worked fast and were done before we knew it!

The answer to the riddle above is “time”.  Time.  It can be friend or foe.  It can drag or it can disappear before you know it.  You can waste time.  You can spend time.  You can wish for more time and you can hope for time to pass quickly.  I hate it when I run out of time, and there are situations when I wish time would stand still.  Oh if I could save time in a bottle!

Will Rogers once said:  “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today,”

Remember when you were a kid and summers seemed to never end and Christmas took forever to arrive?  As we age, good ‘ole time just seems to pass faster and faster and this summer will be over before we know it.  Darn.

Just like money, we are always complaining that we don’t have enough time.  But we also complain sometimes when we have too much time.  (Although I’ve never heard anyone complain that they have too much money!)  I think the thing to remember is that every day, time can be our friend.  We are given the same amount as everyone else to spend each day.  It is up to us how we spend it.  I like this bit of wit that I found:

Take time to work – it is the price of success.
Take time to think – it is the source of power.
Take time to play – it is the secret of youth.
Take time to read – it is the foundation of knowledge.
Take time to laugh – it is the music of the soul.
Take time to be courteous – it is the work of a gentleman.
Take time to pray – it is the Christian’s vital breath.

Every morning we wake up we are all given the gift of a days’ worth of time.

Spend it wisely 🙂

Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

just Laurel

A pocketful of clues.

That’s what I got out of Jill’s jacket.  Several months ago when I was in need of a jacket, I searched for what was available in our front hall closet.  Even though Jill no longer lives here, there is still a montage of jackets left behind.  As I tried on one possible pick from the selection, I reached into the pockets and found all kinds of stuff.  Here’s what I learned from the left-behind pocket treasure:

A candy cane!  That tells me it was near Christmas time when Jill last wore this particular jacket.  Jill loves candy canes and will often grab one on her way out the door to stuff in her pocket to munch later.

A candy cane wrapper!  Okay – she took two and had eaten one already.

Ninety-five cents!  She had purchased something in haste, probably not costing very much, and had dropped the change in her pocket.  (Why couldn’t I have found a $20?)

A Kohl’s 20% off coupon!  Ah-ha she must have been Christmas shopping.

Hot Buttered Rum Lip Balm!  All I can say is Jill has this thing about weird flavors and this lip balm smelled nasty to me!  But it tells me she must ‘dress’ her lips for the season!

I’ve been reading through first Corinthians recently.  In chapter five today I read how Paul instructed the Corinthians to:  “not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister [in Christ] but (who also) is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”

Wow.

I like to read from the NIV version of the bible and mine happens to be a Concordia Self-study Bible that offers lots of footnotes and cross-references to help you understand what you are reading.  The footnote explanation for this is better than how I could explain it:

“Calling oneself a Christian while continuing to live an immoral life is reprehensible and degrading and gives a false testimony to Christ.  If the true Christian has intimate association with someone who does this, the non-Christian world may assume that the church approves such immoral, ungodly living and thus the name of Christ would be dishonored.  Questions could arise concerning the true character of the Christians own testimony.”

Lesson learned folks!  What we do, where we go, who we hang with, and even what’s in our pockets can tell others a lot about ourselves.  It is also disrespectful to God.  If you claim to be a follower of Christ, are you living like one?

Better go check your pockets!

just Laurel

I love to eat.  And lately, I’ve been slow to moving a whole lot.  The result is I’ve packed on some extra pounds that I would like to lose again.  My friend Clara and I had been working out at a gym in a local community center but we have taken a break due to conflicting busy schedules between us.

There is a new, huge, state-of-the-art exercise facility being built down the road from where I live.  I thought it was worth checking out.  The place is still under construction but they have a small retail space set up where you can get information and sign-up ahead of time to be a member of this new place.

Mr. Shaved-head, polished-muscle, work-out dude answered my questions.  With a sense of urgency, he offered me the special introductory membership price that his boss was “letting him” propose to prospects today.  He tempted me with the special price that most likely would be unavailable tomorrow.  I better hasten.  Ha!  I wasn’t born yesterday!  I asked Mr. Dude when his work-out palace was to be completed.  “November,” he answered.  Ha!  Ha-ha!  That’s four months away!  I said to him that I could not make a decision today and thought for sure that there would still be some special deals sometime over the next months.  Sorry Charlie…or whatever his name was.

Oh – I wasn’t harsh with him.  I was pleasant and thanked him when I left.

But the experience made me think …

I’ll bet he’s used that line on a lot of people.  Tempted with photos of a state-of-the-art exercise facility and teased with images of svelte bodies, prospective members probably signed up without hesitation so they could get the good price.

Thank goodness God does not “sell” salvation to us.  All He asks is for us to believe in Him.  There’s not a better offer tomorrow … or a better offer today that will confuse us.  There’s no temptation involved.

Ephesians 2:8-9  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast.

If you have been introduced to religions that try to ‘sell’ you something or offer special considerations, I would step back and take a second look if I were you.

As far as Mr. Dude – aww he was harmless enough and probably doing a great job in growing the new gym membership.  I don’t think I’ll join.  Not yet anyway.  I have to do some more looking around, or I may even go back to where I was working out before.  My extra pounds aren’t going anywhere.

“It is by grace you have been saved.”

Thank you Lord 🙂

just Laurel

I have a friend who works with special needs adults.  She is very sweet.  Fran has many personal challenges of her own, but is always able to share some kindness no matter how tired she is.  She posted the following story the other day and I asked if I could share it:

Good Morning family and friends! One day last week I was having a very bumpy day and in a lot of pain – it took everything I had to put one foot in front of another and it was very hard to put a smile on my face.  I had gotten into the elevator with a women that had a disability and I force that smile on my face and made that choice to put my issue and my pain on that back burner, I had that feeling in my stomach that she needed some positive reinforcement, so I told her what a big inspiration she was and how pretty she is.  She had such a big smile on her face, I am so thankful I took that minute to put my issue on the back burner to make someone feel good. We reached her floor as she was getting off the elevator with that smile she said thanks Fran you made my day and now I am going to go and take a nap. Well she went and took her nap and never woke up … God took her back home. It has been really heavy on my heart, God brought it to my attention that I was the last face she saw and heard my last words. So what this taught me is it only takes a minute to make someone feel good because you never know what is going to happen the next minute to that person, RIP my friend.

Her story gave me goose bumps.  Bless you, Fran, for putting aside your own needs and reaching out to bring happiness to someone else.  God’s love encouraged you to do that.  And the last image that woman had before leaving this world was that she was special, and pretty, and that she had a friend.

How many times do we not hear God’s call?  Are we too busy?  Too involved in meaningless things?  Too busy looking inward at our own pitiful needs?  Are we ignorant when God places us in a situation where He asks us to serve Him in some simple way?  Maybe we have been asked to show some patience to the frazzled store clerk?  Or to take some time to listen to an old person’s story.  Or to tell someone they did a good job today.  God wants us to build people up.  God wants us to be kind.

Look at life with God’s eyes and stop staring at yourself.

Colossians 3:12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

Thank you Fran.

Just Laurel

I really like my job.  I work as a nurse at a surgical center where most all of our patients come in for cataract surgery.  My hours are contingent.  That means that I work when they need me, and that can mean one day a week or up to five days a week.  The work schedule is made up months ahead of time, so I usually have no problems with scheduling conflicts.  However, the schedule changes often.  Every day that I go into work, I always check and recheck the schedule for changes and cancellations.  The surgical center was closed the whole week of the Fourth of July.  But I knew that I was on the schedule this week for Wednesday.  Today is Tuesday.

I had just finished the last sip of my first morning cup of coffee while watching the morning news on TV when my phone rang.  It was seven in the morning.  “Laurel, honey, you’re supposed to be here at work!” said the voice on the other end.

BANG!

Laurel was off and running!

I think it took me all of ten minutes to throw on some clothes, put my hair in a ponytail, grab a breakfast bar to eat on the way for breakfast, grab a banana for lunch, and a self-indulgent four minutes was spent on applying the bare minimum make-up to make my face look fresh and awake.  Dashing out the door, I flew to work in my Ford Windstar!  What really helped was the fact that I keep my ‘work bag’ packed and in the car.  It holds my work shoes, socks, pens, and the key to get in the back employee entrance door.  I got there in plenty of time and worked nonstop until we discharged our last patient at one-fifteen in the afternoon.

So, I was thinking on the drive home from work today …

My last minute call to work was kind of like what firemen have to do.  They must dash with short notice to an emergency which means being prepared is the key to getting there in time.  I’m glad I don’t have to work like that every day!  But the ‘being prepared’ part is a pretty good idea to practice.  The bag I had packed and in the van cut critical minutes off my getting ready time.

As Christians, we need to be ready every day to meet Jesus.  Whether it will be because He has called us home, or Christ himself has made His return to earth – we must be ready.

Matthew 24:42, 44 Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.  So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Should we have our bags packed?  Ha-ha.  I think not.  But we must strive to keep living for Christ – seeking His will and His way.  Run the race!  Keep your eye on the goal!  When He calls – you aren’t going to have ten minutes to get ready, let alone four minutes to put on your makeup.

Are you ready?

just Laurel