and that’s what it’s all about

September 4, 2014 Leave a Comment

You know that spinning ride at the amusement park? Or maybe you are a roller coaster kind of person. Well whatever kind of ride is your pleasure, I think you will understand the feeling you get after the ride, when the ride is over, and your body feels like it is still moving and twisting. It can throw you off balance.

That’s how I feel. Only my ‘ride’ was a vacation that took me for four days to California, then a four day drive down and back to Knoxville, TN and finally a day’s drive back and forth to Grand Rapids, Michigan. The ride was fun! But I am still spinning. I’m afraid I haven’t settled back into the repetitive daily routine yet. And with that, I apologize for not blogging for a while … time to get back into the groove. Here’s some news from my travels!

Our 4 day trip to California was … sorry to use your word, Ted … but it really was … unbelievable! Flying is not my favorite mode of travel. I dislike it for the nauseating way I feel during take-offs and landings. I find it incredible that I am traveling at close to 500mph (is that right?) and so very very very high in the sky. (A ‘cruising altitude’ of 38,000 feet??)

It just doesn’t seem real or possible to be traveling that fast and that high up. But I resign myself to flying as a mode of travel because in just a few hours of travel, I can find myself on the other side of the country. Amazing.

California was interesting … marvelous … different from Michigan … beautiful in places … full of history … and hot and crowded. We were mostly in the Los Angeles area with some trips to surrounding areas. We saw the infamous “Hollywood” sign:

Some Hollywood ‘stars’ and handprints:

Palm trees, beaches, and pelicans:

But despite all the fancy touristy California sights to see, the best part of the long weekend was the people we visited and hung out with. Friday night we met up with an old friend of Ted’s. It was fun to hear Ted and Jamie talk about old times and she was easy to like – we became fast friends as well! She took us to a place to eat on Malibu Beach where I had the best fish and shrimp tacos EVER. I ate with my feet in the sand on the beach. Precious are old friends.

Saturday we played tourist with a wonderful bunch of Michigan friends – you see we were all there for a wedding of a common friend!

Saturday night was a dinner hosted by the groom’s family. There was lots of food, friends, family, and the view was incredible!

Sunday we met up with a friend of our daughters who was in LA to pursue an acting career. MATT! It was refreshing to share lunch and old stories with him, as well as catch up of all the new stuff in his life!

Sunday evening was the most beautiful wedding of Bethany Davis to Kristian Perez. Good times. Good people. A great wedding.

California was great – and yet I know that we only saw a small part of it. It is a very long state with lots of differences from north to southern CA. But truly, it was not nearly as sweet and memorable as the people we spent the weekend with. Reuniting with Jamie and Matt, enjoying the comfort of our familiar Michigan friends, and being part of a wedding celebration. Ahhh. That’s what it’s all about folks.

People and hearts and relationships and caring and loving.

Just Laurel

Proverbs 17:17a A friend loves at all times.

Next blog I shall continue to share with you my ‘vacation ride’ as I travel to TN !

true colors

June 11, 2014 Leave a Comment

Faith

It’s Faith-refresher Wednesday!

Our pastor shared this story during his sermon last Sunday. There was a Lutheran church that was evaluating how they were doing with their ministry in order to reach out to more families in the community and grow the church. One suggestion that was being considered was to change the name of the church from St. Mark Lutheran Church to a name that eliminated the word “Lutheran” such as “Community Christian Church.” The idea was that they didn’t want to turn people off if they couldn’t or never had related to the specific Lutheran denomination and to just focus on Christ and Christianity. One faithful old church member was not at all on board with this suggestion and stood up to state his argument. He fiercely argued that, “I’ve been a Lutheran for fifty years and NO ONE is going to make me become a CHRISTIAN!”

The congregation, of course, laughed out loud at this story.

I laughed too but then …

… it made me think 🙂

It made me take a good look at myself – to question – what do people see when they look at me? When I am at church they see the faithful worshipper. But how about when I am at work? Or shopping with strangers around me at the store? Do I (do you) put on a façade of Christianity when my surroundings require it? Is it put on for show? Or am I (are you) showing your true colors?

Am I part of Sunday worship because I like being seen at the country club of churches, or because family expects me to show up every Sunday? Do you praise the Pope and the Catholic Church … because that’s the way you were brought up? Or do you attend the church your friends attend – because you want to be with your friends? Do you get free coffee and donuts on Sunday, so that’s why you go?

Ted and I talked a bit about the pastor’s story. Ted said that he wished we could get rid of denominations – the different churches – and realize that we are all worshipping the same God so we should take away the title that divides us: Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Methodist, etc. – and unify. Personally, I don’t think we can do that. All people eat – right? Yet all people don’t like eating the same thing, hence we have different kinds of restaurants for different palates. I think the same goes for churches. For the most part, Christians believe in Christ – all the same – but some prefer worshipping in the old liturgical way, others like contemporary, others like structured services, and still others prefer a spontaneous, free-flowing service … different flavors!

But whatever KIND of church you worship in – is it just your Sunday habit? Are you just pretending?

Why are you going to church?

Is it for show? Is it for someone else to see? Are you hiding behind a denomination?

The story challenged me to look at myself and my motives. So, I challenge you to do the same.

just Laurel

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

restore

May 31, 2014 2 Comments

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

Hey all you caregivers out there.

I understand.

You put the needs of that person you care for before your own. And then everybody tells you to take time for yourself. But you don’t feel like you can. You are too busy.

We’ve had issues with Amanda lately – health issues – and a change of agency services for her as well as a new case worker. Ahhhh! It can be overwhelming. On top of that, I have a job and church responsibilities. What? Take time for myself? Ha. I was too stressed to do that!

I kind of felt like this:

Until…

My toenails.

Yeah … they were getting kinda long and with the warm sandal weather happening that all I really wanted was a pedicure. So, Amanda seemed to be doing well today and I felt caught up on things. Many stressful issues were not so stressful today. I called to schedule a last minute pedicure for this afternoon. I figured they would probably be booked but I tried anyways. Viola! They had an opening just when I wanted it. Now look at my tootsies!

Oh I did not solve the problems of the world today. But I got a pedicure. And my feet felt wonderful and my toes look cute. I am happy.

Take time for yourselves fellow caregivers. You’re worth it. And it will make you happy.

But then…

You can get back to work.

By the way – the color on my toenails? It’s called ‘My Chihuahua Bites.’

Fitting don’t ya think?

just Laurel

Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

…glad I did…

May 29, 2014 1 Comment

Faith It’s Faith-refresher Wednesday!

A friend posted this picture and bit of inspiration on Facebook this morning. I liked it and thought I should repost it but I didn’t. Ehh … I figured I would get another dose of inspiration tomorrow from somewhere else. But it still nagged at me … it seemed so important … but I didn’t know how to share it.

Then I got a phone call.

Ted’s mom had gone to the hospital several days ago with chest pain. After tests and several days of hospitalization, it was determined that she had not had a heart attack and they were working on getting her better so to send her home. Ted’s dad called and after our exchange of “Hello” and “Hello” he exclaimed, “Mom went home today.” “Oh great – you guys are home from the hospital?” I replied. “No, mom went home,” he repeated.

“No…” I said.

Mom had been battling the long term effects of rheumatoid arthritis. It had weakened and stiffened her heart and lungs. She is a hero in both Ted’s and my eyes for the years of pain and challenges she endured – and endured for the most part with little complaining. She valued life and fought hard. But for the past weeks, it had become so hard to breathe. I believe God decided she had fought and suffered enough and called her home to Him. He snatched her away from us lowly people here and wanted to see her moving painlessly and with joy on those streets of gold.

So the above picture and saying suddenly hit home in a big way. How thankful we are for the “I’m glad I did’s” that occurred. Ted had just spoken on the phone last evening with his mom. He told me today, “I’m glad I talked to her last night.” And our daughter Jillian and her husband had taken the time this past April to stop and see her on their hurried trip across the state before leaving the country. They were “glad they did.”

Mom Greshel was a woman of faith who was an inspiration to us all. I thank her for being mom to my husband who she raised to be a man of God. Ted loves his Lord with all his heart and adores his wife and children. Her are two photos of her and Ted’s dad with their first born – Teddy!

And now, another bit of inspiration that was posted on Facebook as people today mourn the passing of Maya Angelou. I did not know who she was. But I have seen many quotes by her today. And as the family of Lois Greshel cry at her departure from this life, let us remember what is really important in life.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

I know that I am going to try to keep living life doing things that “I’m glad I did.” By the time you “wish you had” it’s too late.

… love you Mom Greshel …

just Laurel

Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

defects and decorations

May 26, 2014 Leave a Comment

Tell me more (about SB) Mondays.

How far back can we find cases of spina bifida? Is it a relatively newer birth defect? I thought I’d do some investigating.

I was stunned!

Didja know ….

… that in the tomb of King Tut, there was discovered a wooden box with 2 small mummified fetuses? Some historians believe that young King Tut had no children – but he was certainly old enough to sire children and indeed had a wife. But the fact is there WERE two fetuses discovered and whether they were Tut’s children or not is beside the point. The point is … they were there and radiography strongly suggested that one of the children “had a condition known as Sprengel’s deformity, with congenitally high right scapula, spina bifida and scoliosis.” Read more: http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/tutchildren.htm#ixzz32p467ZkE

A little more google searching gave me some more limited information. The actual first recorded case of spina bifida was in Arabia in the year 1085 AD. The name was given to the condition by a Dutchman named Nicolaas Tulgius in the year 1637. And the final fact I could scrounge up was that a fetus found in 1881 showed that spina bifida occurs in the first month of pregnancy. (uh … they ‘found’ it? Too many unanswered questions here!)

So there you have it – a bit of spina bifida trivia.

I feel it more important to share with you some trivia Fox News had today – to recognize it being Memorial Day.

Didja know …

The first Memorial Day was celebrated in 1868 – after the Civil War ended. It was created as a special day where the graves of those who gave their lives for their country would be recognized by placing flowers on their graves. It was the day you were supposed to decorate the graves – hence its original name of Decoration Day.

Now here’s the stunner.

The Fox News correspondent gave us 3 numbers to pick from that was the amount of lives given for our freedom. They ranged from 300,000 to 1.3 million. And the answer is …

1.3 million.

So many lives given. For us.

Please remember those who gave their lives so that we may live freely in the great United States of America. Count your blessings folks.

Just Laurel

the game

May 23, 2014 Leave a Comment

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

Sometimes caregiving makes you feel like you are playing a game.

I like to play games. But I don’t like playing this game.

It feels like …

… like I am forced to play a game of football every day. Now I like to watch football games when it is someone I know who is playing or a big game like the Superbowl. But I don’t play the game.

Oftentimes caregivers are forced to make decisions for the well-being of the loved one they care for. Sometimes that loved one does not understand the decisions that are made for them and may rebel at what may be planned. Doctors, therapists, and caseworkers may not be on the same page with the caregiver and may even fight against your plans and sabotage everything by adding negative comments for the cared one to hear.

Ted and I only want the best for Amanda. Due to health concerns, we have been forced to make changes that she is not dealing well with. We really want her to be happy, healthy, and thriving. But almost every day for the past month I feel like I have to wake up and go play the game. If the football is a measure of where Amanda’s health is and a touchdown is the ultimate good place we can end up with her, then every day I feel like I struggle to gain yardage and move the ball. The defense against me is brutal. Delays in processing the paperwork, phone calls that are not returned, people adding their negative two cents, and misinformation that mucks things up are all defenses that seem to batter me. Some days I look up and I even see Amanda on the other team playing against me.

Any caregivers out there feel the same way?

Yesterday I decided, finally, to have a day where I was NOT going to play the game. I was tired of chasing people with phone calls, worrying about deadlines, and wondering if I was truly making the right choices. I was too tired to play. I was almost too tired to even care. And then …

I just prayed and let it go. I asked God to handle it all. I did just one thing today that enabled us to have more time to make and fulfill our decisions, but otherwise I stopped worrying and I stopped making phone calls. I guess you could say we are in a very long time out.

It is refreshing to not have to wear myself out with playing the game today. It is giving me time to relax and reevaluate.

So if you are a caregiver and you are stuck playing the game – you know what I mean – and I know how you feel. But I have found that it seems like a good thing to demand a time out every once in a while so I am passing on that suggestion to you.

But don’t you worry – I will be back playing the game soon!

I may change my strategy or even try for the field goal.

Just Laurel

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

SB Mondays …

May 19, 2014 1 Comment

Tell me more (about SB) Mondays.

Let’s lay down the basics about Spina Bifida for those of you who are unfamiliar with it. SB is a defect in the spine that occurs before a mom may even know she’s pregnant!

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”

Now think of people who have broken their backs or their necks. If the break was low on the spine, only the lowest part of the lower limbs is affected. The higher up on the spine the break is, the more damage is done to the extreme of someone ending up as a quadriplegic. So just because you “know somebody with SB” – that doesn’t mean you know everyone with SB. They are all different with different personalities and abilities. Just like any other person. Duh!

We had Amanda with us all day on Sunday. Short story is that she has not been sleeping well lately and it is affecting her health. (details for another time) So she looks a little ragged and she was pretty tired, too. (Plus she needs a haircut – she keeps reminding me – and we’ll have to find time for that too!) But I thought I’d share the photos I kept snapping of her asleep at the kitchen table. That’s Amanda!

She finally perked up when Ted asked her to help him bottle some wine we were making today. She thought she was something else bottling wine! She filled the bottles then helped load the gadget that puts the cork in the bottle. She was quite the corker 🙂

In the end she wanted pancakes for dinner! By the way – notice her dvd of Frozen? Her new fave!

So Amanda likes purple (notice her shirt), she likes Frozen, she likes helping her dad, and she likes when mom makes her pancakes.

I could tell you a whole bunch more. And I could tell you lots of funny stories. And I could tell you the things that upset me about her and SB. But I guess we all have kids … And kids with quirks … and stories to tell.

So Amanda is just my kid … and a kid who is her own person … like any other … except that SB dealt her a challenging hand. The best thing I’ve seen in regards to being dealt this thing called SB? There is a Facebook page called Take That Spina Bifida! … or TTSB! Love it! It’s a closed group but you can ask to join. But I love this group because they celebrate all the things that SB kids and people CAN do!

So here’s to celebrating the uniqueness in everyone! Since we were all created on purpose and for a purpose then we’ll just do the best we can. (And we just may try and kick SB in the pants every once in a while.)

Just Laurel

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 12:12-25 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.

He knows

May 16, 2014 Leave a Comment

I CARE for you Fridays.
My Friday blogs are devoted to all caregivers out there but may inspire just about anyone reading.

As caregivers, we spend hours taking care of our loved one. Many of us have been at it for years. We know what the person we care for likes, does not like, their quirks and habits, when they are getting sick, and the best way to tend to personal needs. Sometimes we feel like a Siamese twin to the one we care for as we often anticipate that person’s needs before they do.

And then we meet with a doctor, caseworker, or therapist who smirks when we describe a problem or a need in regards to our charges. The “professional” doesn’t believe us. They think we’re crazy! They believe that the book knowledge they have obtained is far more accurate and valuable then the personal tutorial we have had for months and years.

Really?

If you have read Amanda, Perfectly Made then you know my story of how Ted and I many times had to be persistent and stand firm to get the doctor to take another look at Amanda. The nurse’s poo-pooed our concerns and thought they knew better. Our stubborn stand finally paid off and once it even saved Amanda’s life!

Dear Caregiver: The person you look after is so lucky to have you! I know you have had to stand firm and push an issue when it was needed. Don’t ever back down when you know you are in the right!

Christ is OUR perfect caregiver. He created us and knows us intimately. He knows what’s on our minds and what’s on our hearts. He knows our needs. He knows our name. He calls us His own and will fight for us.

So, dear caregiver, remember that Christ is taking care of you when you are being Christ-like and caring for another. Stand firm when you have to!

Just Laurel

Isaiah 43:1 But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

John 10:14-15 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

Dragons

May 9, 2014 2 Comments

For all the writing and typing I do, I find myself easily amused by my typos. When the wrong letter is typed, it can make for a new word that will just tickle my funny bone. Such as the time I typed “Sunday” and came out with “Sinday”. Hmm. A day of sin just might be the truth for some people! And then the time I typed “son-in-law” and came out with “son-in-love” … Awww 🙂 There have been so many more of these fun typos … I shall try to write them down more often and share them with you.

However, today I had fun with a word when I put a space in the middle. I am sewing a dragon costume … no … TWO dragon costumes … and came up with “drag on”. Ha! These costumes must be done by June and I’ve been dragging my feet … while these dragons haunted me! Now I really DO have a dragon that affects my life … I talk about it in my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made. See! It’s on page 112:

Now here is my kitchen floor with the dragon fabric and pattern pieces everywhere. I’m talking a lot of fabric that needs a lot of space:

So I got to thinking about things in life that ‘drag on’ … like long illnesses, difficult relationships, a challenging job, or long cold winters. The bible says nothing about things in life being a drag … or dragging on … probably not the common lingo back then. Now I found a lot about dragons – but that was all in Revelations and that didn’t fit my story.

The online Free Dictionary defines ‘drag on’ as something that lasts unnecessarily long, or proceeds for an extended period of time. If that ‘something’ is something we like, then we enjoy that long period of time. When that ‘something’ is something we DON’T like, it can seem to last forever. But I think that sometimes, those things that drag on – drag on for a reason. Perhaps God is teaching us patience? (I heard you all groan – we never have enough patience do we?) Perhaps the bad job situation dragged on because the time was not yet right for that awesome job change? And a long wait for something to end, change, or improve, usually means that we have something to look forward to and that long wait will make the reward all the more sweet.

Although the bible does not use ‘drag on’ in its text – it does use the word “endurance.” Ahh … now that’s a word we can hear from God about!

Romans 5:3-4 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

I am excited about the dragon costumes! Look at all the fun fabrics and stuff I have to put towards dragon wings and dragon spikes and a shimmery dragon chest:

I hope my work on completing these costumes does not drag on ‘til the end of the month! Haha. (I’ll share a picture of them when I’m done.) But if you are enduring something that seems to drag on and drag on … be encouraged that there is an end in sight, and God will surely grow some part of you in the process.

Just Laurel

transformed

May 6, 2014 Leave a Comment

At my place of work we have different doctors doing surgery every day. The doctors are of, shall we say, varying personalities. Some are pleasant, some are not, and some are patient, while others are … not. One doctor in particular seems always angry. Always … nasty. His brow is always furrowed, he is always in a hurry, and nothing is ever right. I actually laugh to myself when I see him in his irritated huffs because it seems it is taking so darn much energy for him to be so cross all the time.

The other day, said doctor was done with surgery for the day and our head nurse called to him as he was briskly walking down the hall and away from where we were. He had rounded the corner and she thought he was gone. I hurried after him to stop him so that the nurse could speak to him, and I found him standing in place around the corner with a big relaxed smile on his face. He had heard the nurse call to him and, pretending that he had gotten away from her, had actually stopped around the corner to catch her off guard. I barely recognized him. He was transformed by his smile. He was handsome. He looked friendly. He looked like a nice guy. Wow.

And then ….

Many of you know about Amanda and how she must sleep with her AVAP machine (like a bi-pap) to stay in good respiratory health. She has been taking her AVAP mask off at night, which is causing her to have poor oxygen exchange and lung function. During the days she has been pale, with decreased energy, lips that are tinging blue, and basically an obvious decrease in health. (Hence the reason we are going to move her to a group home ASAP with 24-hour care so they can help her keep her mask on at night.) Last night I spent the night at her apartment and slept on the couch. I set my phone alarm for every hour on the hour so I would wake up and check on her. I put her to bed at 10:30pm. I checked on her at 11pm. At midnight. At 1 … at 2 … at 3am. She slept soundly and the mask was in place. At 4am she had it off and I promptly snapped it back on her face. She said to me, “I was just gonna lay her a while …. You better hope (after putting this mask back on me) that I fall back asleep or I will be mad at you.” It stayed on another hour and at 5am we were both up for the day. I had to be to work at 6am. She had a wonderful day! Even her staff person noticed that she was more awake and energetic than she had been for a long time. Transformed.

It’s amazing how a smile, or some positive behavior (like wearing your mask at night Amanda!) can transform a person into someone better. A sour attitude, poor health habits, constantly emphasizing the negative, or always tearing things apart (literally or figuratively) can make a person miserable, sad, and not-so-fun to be around.

If life has gotten you down lately, I hope you can try to look up … literally … and find the peace, strength, and joy that Christ can provide. Try smiling. Turn your frown upside-down! See the glass as half full. Try changing your bad habits to healthier habits. Count your blessings and share some happy vibes. Stop being the ‘downer’ negative person. Transform yourself – and let God help!

I don’t know.

Personally, I just find it easier to find contentment when I can – and not to wallow in the muck of life.

Just Laurel

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 3:18 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

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