Here’s the long video – more a documentary of Amanda’s life.
(copy and paste to view)
I am tired. I am numb. Today was a long day – full of so many wonderful friends and family who came to remember Amanda. Thank you. Right now I am feeling like I failed her. And it hurts. And I cry and tell her, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Gonna take time.
just Laurel
Apologies for not yet posting a blog … there are so many words swimming around in my head … and yet there are no words.
Ted finally got the video(s) done …. So where there are no words … here are photos. This is the ‘short’ version. The next post is the ‘long’ one that is more a documentary of photos through 31 years.
Just Laurel
It took some finagling to get Amanda’s sister, Jillian, up here from the island of St. Kitts where she attends school. On Wednesday 10/15 her classmates showed their support by declaring it ‘Purple Day’ in honor of Amanda. Students and faculty took a picture with everyone wearing purple. It was such a powerful message of support. Had to share it with you.
We now have Amanda’s other sister, Kristen, here and both her brother-in-laws. It’s a full house with so many friends stopping by in the last days. Today is Amanda’s memorial service and family will be arriving.
So much love and support.
<3
Just Laurel
Our hearts are broken. Amanda left us yesterday and took the hand of Jesus to go running on the streets of gold. She’s gonna be hard to catch now
that she finally has legs!
I promise to share with you her last days … so many stories to tell.
For now – here are details for the Memorial service this Friday the 17th. We have much to do and take care of this week – family coming into town so we can grieve together and laugh together as we will never forget our Amanda and all she taught us.
http://martenson.tributes.com/obituary/show/Amanda-Lynn-Greshel-101778207?f_e=1
just Laurel
Today is the 2 week anniversary of Amanda’s collapse and our 911 call. It is day 15. 
We came home from the hospital this past Wednesday. She is still very sick but there was little more that they could do for her … antibiotics are working and white count is down … lungs are working as well as they can.
So in keeping with the theme of the past 2 weeks …
Today is brought to you by the letter “U”
U is for UPDATE.
And that’s what I’m doing … giving you the update.
U is for UNLIKE.
And unlike most all of her other hospital stays where Amanda bounces back and is eager to get home and back to her usual … (oh – another “U”!) we have no bounce this time. She is weaker than ever. Her body is a bit bloated from extra fluid retention so sitting up in her wheelchair is uncomfortable (wow – didn’t think there’d be so many U’s) and quite frankly she is so weak that she can’t hold her head up for long. We keep her semi-reclined and propped up on the big chair in the family room. She sleeps … drinks a little … eats a little … sleeps.
U is for UTTERLY.
What a funny word. Makes me think of UDDERLY
Ha ha – must keep a sense of humor.
We are utterly tired. We are utterly scared and in pain for how this is going to play out … will Amanda get her ‘bounce’ back or not. We are utterly at God’s mercy and timing. Ted and I keep going by the words, and our prayer, and our mantra for now: “Strength and peace. Strength and peace.”
Of course, I probably could have kept this post a lot shorter by summing it all up in Ted’s perfect word that describes this whole thing …
UNBELIEVABLE.
just Laurel
The letter of the day is “H”
H is for HOME.
We are home.
Home is good.
But Amanda is not so good. I’ve never brought her home so weak and confused before. But, they couldn’t do anything more for her at the hospital, so we are all hoping that home will be the best medicine. She is on oxygen at this point, and will be getting IV antibiotics every other day.
She is not using her phone yet – can’t figure the buttons out at this time – so don’t try to call her please. Fortunately I do not work for the next couple of days so I will be looking after her.
I’ll let you know later how things are going.
Just Laurel
By the way …
I know I already used the letter “A” but I asked Amanda to pick a letter of the alphabet and (of course) that’s the one she told me … easy ‘cuz it’s the FIRST letter of the alphabet and “A” is for 
Today has been brought to you by the letter “A”
A is for AMANDA
Oh, Amanda, what are we ever going to do with you? We almost lost you eleven days ago and here you are, still kicking and fighting.
A is for AWFUL
That infection you caught got into your blood and went and partied in your lungs. Awful bad infection has left your lungs in awful shape.
A is for ANSWERS
Oh how I wish we could have the answers to what will make you better? Hopefully, with the talk of them letting you out of here tomorrow, we will find that home will be the best medicine for you.
A is for ANOTHER day
For each and every one of us, to wake up tomorrow morning is a gift. Thank God for sunrises and the blessings of another day.
Just Laurel
W is for WONDERFUL …
… and wonderful is how my house smelled when I went home for a few hours this evening. Ted and I have been grabbing fast food and $5 pizzas and today a friend from work dropped off a crock pot full of soup on the back porch. When Ted got home he brought it in and had it plugged in so I smelled it when I stopped home. A loaf of bread and homemade sour cream streusel coffee cake to top it off. Soup was delicious and made my tummy warm and happy and full.
Thanks Maryanne 🙂
W is for WORK..
I had to get someone to work for me last week, but I am working my days this week. Ted will be here in the morning in time for me to leave the hospital and go straight to work. I miss work and the people I work with.
Hopefully Amanda will be more herself tomorrow.
just Laurel
And the letter of the day is “W”
W is for WACKY. Amanda is definitely acting wacky. With my discussions with nurses and doctors around here, they tell me that it’s “ICU syndrome” where patients are out of touch with the real world and over dosed with the stimulus of interrupted sleep, monitors beeping, and the hospital setting. Last night she wanted to see the cat in the hall, today she asked if Kristen was coming back (? – her sister was not even here but Amanda said she saw her) and then when she woke up from a nap she wanted to “go over to the table” … she often sits at the dining room table at her apartment and I told her, “You’re not at your apartment” and she said “I want to go sit at my table” and I said “You’re in the hospital” and back and forth it went until she gave up. A few minutes later I asked her, where are you? “Hospital” she replied.
W is for WIPED OUT. Amanda sleeps, wakes, eats, and then is exhausted and sleeps again. Along with the wacky behavior described above, when I asked the doctor about this and questioned why she was so wiped out, and was it because she was sicker than I thought, he replied, “Oh she was VERY sick.” When we get outa here, it is going to take a while for her to get her strength back.
W is for WONDER – as Ted and I wonder if Amanda is going to really get her strength all the way back to where she was before this hospitalization. This experience really knocked her down hard.
W is for WISH.
I wish she wouldn’t have to go through this stuff. And I wonder what she’d be like if she hadn’t been born with spina bifida. But I can’t dwell there.
W is for WORK.
Ted and I will help Amanda get back to the best state of health we can get her to. We will work together to make the most of what she’s got.
God’s not done with her yet.
just Laurel