Just Laurel

lessons from Skipper

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Yesterday I talked about Skipper the cat and how cats (and dogs) love to lie on the floor in the path of sunbeams. Especially on cold winter days, that sunbeam can warm you right up despite the snow and cold outside. As I was thinking about my favorite cat Skipper, other pictures of him came to mind so that I can expand yesterday’s story.

While Skipper was in my care, there apparently was a cold winter day that did not include sunshine or sunbeams. The house was cold and the only light coming in from outside was gray and dreary cold. I suppose people can feel that way too at times. Life can be cold and dark. We might think there is no light or warmth to be found. But Skipper knew that warmth could always be found:

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That kitty had to squeeze his furry body between the couch and the wall, right next to a heater vent, where he stretched out and let the forced heat roast his tummy. He actually looks like he’s plugged himself in, like a big rechargeable battery pack, to allow his belly to absorb and store up some heat for later. What a lesson for us, Skipper! You found some warmth – just like we should know that we can always find God in the midst of trouble and cold. We might have to search and stretch ourselves a little but God is there to warm us up and bring us peace.

Psalm 118:27 The Lord is God, and he has made his light shine on us.
Isaiah 60:19b for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.

So then I came across another picture of Skipper.

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I didn’t realize it until today, but would you check out that pillow behind Skipper. I took the picture originally because he looked so darn cute. But if you are like me, you’d give anything to be able to sleep as peacefully as Skipper is in that picture. He’s all warm and comfy, almost literally on a bed of roses, and totally relaxed and peaceful. Looks wonderful. If we could only totally trust in God and have faith that He will be with us every step of the way, we could sleep like that.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
So here’s to living more like a cat. Ha ha! Always looking for the light and warmth of God and totally trusting in Him so that we may have peace … and a good night’s sleep!
That would be purr-fect!
Just Laurel

son shine

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My daughter Kristen and her husband live in Portland, Oregon. There is a three hour time difference between here and there so phone calls are a little confusing when considering the best times to call. Kristen got out of work early today and called me. It was two-thirty my time. We chatted while she was driving the short distance to her home, and when she went through her front door I heard her on the phone while she greeted her cat, Skipper. Skipper has been a bit mischievous lately and I told Kristen not to be so lovey with her cat until she assessed the damages he may have done while she was gone for the day. She felt fairly confident that he had been a good kitty since he was not immediately at the door when she opened it , meaning he was probably being very docile and most likely been snoozing until he heard the sound of her coming through the door. I said to her that he had probably been asleep in a sunbeam somewhere.
“What’s that?” she quickly replied. “A sunbeam” I repeated. “The sun doesn’t shine here,” she continued, “It’s always rainy and overcast.” I described to her how it was freezing cold her with snow on the ground, yet the skies were clear and the sun was shining brightly. Since Kristen and Ric moved to Portland almost two years ago, the weather has been a constant complaint from them. It is lush and green in Portland with misty rain on the majority of days. Kristen even told me that they never get a good thunder and lightning storm to blow through. It just always rains. Dreary.
I can imagine a day without sunshine – we get those in Michigan. It gets awfully depressing when we get too many of them. But today – well that bright sunshine kept the interior of my van warm and made the wind and cold temperature not so apparent. The sunshine is cheerful.
If you live your life walking in faith with Jesus … well … He is like sunshine. No matter how cold or rough a day you may be having, if you just let God shine a little Son on you – it makes things a whole lot better. After the rather challenging past month we’ve had with Amanda in the hospital, I can say that it feels good to relax in the Son. Oh I know God was with us through those dreary hospital days. But those challenging days were each like a cloudy to partly cloudy day. I knew God was there, but I kept Him hidden behind the clouds of worry and fear. Sometimes a ray of sonshine broke through and we were warmed and re-energized for the changing climate to come.
God is always there although we may hide Him behind the dark clouds of life. Well now we just have to learn to keep those clouds pushed aside so we can bask in the warmth and light of the Son!
I also wish I was a cat so I could do this:

Proverbs 4:18
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
just Laurel

a little help from Ben

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I am trying to decide if the outcome today was good or bad, because the news is both good and bad, in a way. So I shall try to evaluate the results in a Ben Franklin way.

Are you familiar with a Ben Franklin decision? Basically, from what I was briefly taught, if you have a choice or decision to make, you fold a piece of paper in half vertically then you put the positive or pro points on one side of a piece of paper, and the negative or cons on the other. Ben Franklin used this method and described it in a letter to his friend, Joseph Priestley, in this manner:

To Joseph Priestley
London, September 19, 1772
Dear Sir,
In the Affair of so much Importance to you, wherein you ask my Advice, I cannot for want of sufficient Premises, advise you what to determine, but if you please I will tell you how.
When these difficult Cases occur, they are difficult chiefly because while we have them under Consideration all the Reasons pro and con are not present to the Mind at the same time; but sometimes one Set present themselves, and at other times another, the first being out of Sight. Hence the various Purposes or Inclinations that alternately prevail, and the Uncertainty that perplexes us.
To get over this, my Way is, to divide half a Sheet of Paper by a Line into two Columns, writing over the one Pro, and over the other Con. Then during three or four Days Consideration I put down under the different Heads short Hints of the different Motives that at different Times occur to me for or against the Measure. When I have thus got them all together in one View, I endeavour to estimate their respective Weights; and where I find two, one on each side, that seem equal, I strike them both out: If I find a Reason pro equal to some two Reasons con, I strike out the three. If I judge some two Reasons con equal to some three Reasons pro, I strike out the five; and thus proceeding I find at length where the Ballance lies; and if after a Day or two of farther Consideration nothing new that is of Importance occurs on either side, I come to a Determination accordingly.
Well, I had to look up who-the-heck this Joseph Priestley guy was so that I could fully educate both you and myself and here’s what I learned. Preacher and chemist Joseph Priestley is generally credited with discovering oxygen (he called it “dephlogisticated air”), and more conclusively discovered carbon dioxide. He proved that plants absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, and invented soda pop by dissolving carbon dioxide into water to make fizzy carbonated water. This guy was a real gas as well as a preacher! I wonder if his sermons were full of a lot of hot air??
Now with ‘pros’ in regular font and ‘cons’ in bold font – here’s how I can describe my day:

We made it to the hospital without traffic or bad weather issues.
It was way too cold this morning.
We were registered and ready by 7:30am as we were told to be.
We didn’t even get called back to get ready for surgery until 10:30.
The hospital gowns at Children’s fit Amanda much better than the scratchy oversized ones at Wyandotte.
Amanda was a crazy nervous monkey who sweated like a nervous pig and was so upset she was dry-heaving.
Every doctor and nurse was very kind and patient with Amanda.
Amanda did not have any veins left since her 3 week stay at Wyandotte Hospital.
Amanda agreed to go back to the OR without us and probably talked the ears off the anesthesia doctor who had to poke several times to find a vein for an I.V.
…but he FOUND a vein for an I.V.
They shaved a little hair off her head ‘just in case’ they had to cut there so she has a bald spot.
The top half of her shunt works and drains just fine! They left that part alone. (meaning they didn’t need to prep and shave her head)
The bottom half of her shunt drained just fine. However…
They wanted to remove and replace the bottom half because it was not long enough and it was not in the correct position but … it was STUCK! The doctor pulled and tugged a bit on the lower half and it was supposed to slip out. It didn’t. Pulling too hard could have ripped a blood vessel. That’s not good.
The shunt drains just fine.
They sewed her up and kept all the parts the same – just a small incision on her chest wall.
Only a little anesthetic was used so she woke right up afterwards.
Her shunt works fine BUT they could not change anything which means we didn’t FIX anything.
If we want to try to replace the lower tubing, we can try again but we have to prepare for a six-hour surgery to do it and it will involve cardiac surgeons.

So what do you think? If you had to decide on whether today was good or bad? Well, there are more pros above then cons – but I think they all carry different weight.

Bottom line is that the surgery was quick, easy, and relatively non-invasive. We are happy to be home and Amanda feels good. And we know that her shunt drains well. But we didn’t change anything. Ted and I were hoping to find and fix something that was ‘broke’ so we could see other repairs and improvements (lower heart rate, less apnea, steadier eyes).

So … we’re going to let Amanda recover and enjoy life in her apartment.  We will go back in 6 weeks to consult the Neurosurgeon again.

Oh, Ben, what would you do now?

Just Laurel

I want my blankie

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All children have their funny quirks. Amanda’s younger sister Kristen, had hers. When Kristen was a baby and at that age when babies can sit up and crawl, we found out that she didn’t care for the grass. There were many warm, sun shining days that I would go out in the yard with Amanda and baby Kristen and I would lay a blanket on the grass to plop Kristen on. Kristen would crawl and play, but she would not venture off of that blanket. It was quite a handy thing because we never worried about her disappearing into the shrubbery. One time, forgetting the blanket, we plopped her down straight on the grass. Kristen immediately squawked and fussed. We turned to find her sitting on her diapered bottom with bare hands and feet in the air, just balancing there. She didn’t like the feel of the prickly grass on her skin! That’s why she never ventured off of the blanket! Of course we found it adorable.

Amanda loves her apartment. Immediately after getting out of Wyandotte Hospital a week or so ago, she wanted to go to her apartment. She wasn’t too thrilled when Ted and I made her stay with us at the house for a few days. We needed to keep a watchful eye on her for our own peace of mind. Now that she’s been at her apartment for a week, she doesn’t really want to leave. Her apartment is warm (not cold like our house where we keep the thermostat down). And her apartment is small – just her size. She knows where everything is and can keep everything in its right place. She’s a homebody.

Tomorrow Amanda is having surgery. She really doesn’t want to leave her apartment. I don’t blame her. Like baby Kristen who did not care for the itchy uncomfortable feel of the grass on her skin, Amanda does not want to feel the uncomfortable sensations that a hospital stay will bring. She just got done doing that for three weeks! Kristen wanted to stay on the blanket. Amanda wants to stay at her apartment.

But we must do what needs to be done. I don’t want to go. We’ll be up early and down to Detroit by 7:30am. Yuck.

If only we could stay on that nice safe blanket called home. But there’s a whole world of answers out there to discover.

Here’s hoping and praying that our journey tomorrow will be quick and easy. We don’t want to get lost in the shrubbery! And that tomorrow night we can plop Amanda right back down at her apartment.

just Laurel

good service

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I had a busy work day. Two surgeons and twenty-three cataract surgery patients made for almost eight hours of work. Fortunately, I work with a great bunch of people. We don’t all work the same schedule and each day brings a different mix of us. But still, everyone is nice and we get along quite well as we efficiently keep patients coming in and moving out.

We are pretty much a happy surgical center in the fact that almost every patient is there for a surgery to restore their sight. Cataract surgery is fairly quick with little discomfort so patients have a much more pleasant experience then say, someone getting their gall bladder out or having bunion surgery. We’ve had patients as young as in their twenties, but most are sixty and above with several ninety-year-olds. So many times our patient is obviously the great matriarch or patriarch of the family. They come in, accompanied by a spouse, and or a son or daughter. The spouse or offspring dote on the elderly patient and faithfully tend to their comfort. I especially like to observe some of our patients who look and sound like they are from the ‘old country’ They come with big beards and turbans on their heads, or hair that has never been cut and is braided long down their backs, or they have beautiful silk scarves that are replaced on their heads after surgery, or the big give-away is that they don’t speak English. Often times a family member is in attendance to act as interpreter. We do our best to smile and treat everyone with mutual care and respect. It can get frustrating when the language barrier gets in the way but we manage with unofficial hand language and the recognition of key words. I am happy to say that most patients leave our facility saying things like “Thank you” or “Everyone was very nice.” It made me grin from ear to ear today when, after walking an elderly woman with her silk scarf on her head out to her car, her awaiting husband helped her into the passenger seat and, for lack of the correct English words, nodded to me and said “Thank you – good service!”

Good Service! I love it. Usually good service comes from wait staff or a plumber. So, it was not quite the right words but that’s all this man knew to say. Now that I think about it – it simply meant everything. Because at the end of the work day, that’s all that is really important – that our patient left after experiencing good care – and service. It just sounded so darn cute coming from this old man.

I hope that at the end of MY days – I will hear those words – good service. If we can live our lives the best we can, treating others as God has commanded, all that matters is that we hear those words: Well done good and faithful servant.

just Laurel

do you hear what I hear?

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Amanda is enjoying her time back ‘home’ at her apartment. Her new A-Vap (like a bi-pap for all you sleep apnea people out there) works great and she is sleeping well. She is lord of her castle and relishes the control and familiarity of having her own place.

Amanda called me this morning, giggling. She said, “You won’t believe what I experienced for the first time today!” Well, I tried to guess and suggested that she heard a yelling and cussing fight from her neighbors, or she had finally met the dog she hears barking across the hall. “No,” she replied, “I was in my bathroom and I heard someone above me going pee – and boy did they go a lot!” I suggested that she better be careful how much ‘noise’ she makes in the bathroom as well – they might be listening to her!

It has been humbling and so very dear when I consider all the people who have said prayers for Amanda. Thank you. It is wonderful that we have a God who always hears and listens when we pray. Right now my prayers are of thanks – for good friends and family, for keeping Ted safe in his travels, for bringing Amanda back to health, for watching over my other daughters, Kristen and Jillian, and their husbands Ric & Andy, for my job, for my church, and for so many blessings too numerous to list.

Psalm 66:19-2019 but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer.20 Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

I read a magazine article today about how to say a blessing before a meal. The writer did not dwell on having to say the proper words or using fancy bible language. He said that even a moment of silence with bowed heads was a prayer – because in the silence you hear your breath … and your heartbeat … and if God is the Lord and giver of life … and if we are aware that each day we have to live this life on earth is a gift from God – then to listen to life: a breath or a heartbeat is acknowledging God’s presence.

Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

May you feel God’s presence as you pray. And may you listen to what He has to say to you. I hope you get as excited as Amanda was at what you hear!

Just Laurel

short shunted

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Surgery next week. Yeah, Amanda freaked out. They offered Friday as a surgery date but I thought two days away was too soon.

Our trip to Children’s Hospital was interesting. Amanda had not been there as a patient since 2004. Thankfully, the neurosurgeons continue to see the adult spina bifida patients. After several head and chest x-rays and a head CT scan, we heard from the doctor. First and foremost, he was interested in whether her shunt was working correctly. Allow me to refresh: Amanda’s shunt is a tube that goes from inside the ventricles of her brain, comes to the surface of her skull (under the skin) then snakes under the skin down her neck and to her chest just below the collarbone. It then gets threaded into a blood vessel that takes it to the superior vena cava and to the right atrium of her heart. It’s purpose it to drain off the excess fluid surrounding her brain and the ‘sucking’ motion of the beating heart pulls the extra fluid down where it is absorbed into her bloodstream. On the x-ray images the top end of the shunt in her head appeared fine. The lower end, however, was not where it should be. It was ‘short’ and not in the atrium. If a shunt is not draining as it should or placed where it should be – it can disrupt all kinds of neurological function – and the fact that it is near but not in place in the heart could be why her heart rate has been funky and fast. So in surgery next week they will simply access the shunt tubing by making a small incision below her collarbone. They can disconnect her tubing there and test both the upper end to see if it is good and they can thread in a new, longer, lower end to make the placement better. We could conceivably have this all done out-patient and go in to the hospital in the morning and home in the afternoon. (I hope I hope I hope) Worst case scenario is they find the top end plugged and have to replace that end – meaning a bit of a head shave and an overnight at the hospital. Then we wait to see how Amanda does – wait to see if it makes a positive difference in how she feels, acts, etc. If she still is having unresolved issues then we take a look at a possible Chiari issue – but we can’t look at that until we start with proper shunt function.

So I am happy with the decision. I feel like the surgeon is working conservatively and trying not to open a whole can of worms. Start with the basic shunt function and make sure it is working perfectly – only disrupt what you have to. If that doesn’t solve things, we’ll take the next step and look some more.

Sorry to bog you all down with such a long medical explanation – some of you probably like it and now that you’ve read it I don’t have to repeat it a hundred times! Amanda is a complicated little bundle of health history, surgeries, and medical complexities!

Thanks for reading. Sorry, again, for the medical journal. I shall try to be more inspiring and witty tomorrow!

just Laurel

btw – surgery is Tuesday

yet

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I came across a funny bible verse today:

Matthew 15:16 (NLT) “Don’t you understand yet?” Jesus asked.
That’s the whole verse.

In context, Jesus was asked by his disciples to explain to them, once again, why they weren’t defiled by what they eat. This verse has me picturing Jesus sighing with fatigue at his eager but ignorant bunch of disciples as he patiently explains things to them. Jesus didn’t just ask, “Don’t you understand?” but He asked “Don’t you understand YET??” He was probably thinking in His head, “Oh dear Father in heaven when are these people gonna get it??”

Sometimes we humans on this earth have a tough time asking God for help because we don’t think He understands how we feel. As Ted and I search for answers to Amanda’s medical issues, we have had to wait for test results, explain things over and over again to doctors and nurses, and wait for evaluation from another hospital. After reading this verse – I think Jesus has a good grasp of how we are feeling. He was waiting for His disciples to ‘get it’ and finally learn the lesson. We are waiting for the doctors to ‘get it’ and finally give us answers.

Amanda slept great last night. I slept remarkably well on her couch – but after trying to sleep every other night for the past 3 weeks on a chair next to her hospital bed, the couch was easy and comfortable! Today she felt great, her oxygen sats and heart rate were good, and she seemed more energized. She actually said she wanted to sleep on her own tonight. I’m going to let her. Tomorrow morning I will go get her and off to Children’s Hospital we go. I hope the Neuro Clinic is ready for us. I’ll have to explain all over again everything that has happened with Amanda over the past three weeks plus the weeks leading up to her pneumonia. I hope they understand it and can find something to fix.

Her pneumonia is gone and she is on the mend, but I don’t think we are all cured – yet.

Prayers for patience (mine!) and wisdom and understanding from the doctors tomorrow.

just Laurel

finding normal

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I went to work this morning. It was nice. It felt normal. Ted got to work and Amanda was at the house with one of her staff girls. No hospitals. Every one was good and doing something normal.

This afternoon, per Amanda’s desire, we moved her back to her apartment. Ted made a check list for her staff so they could keep track of her medications as well as documenting her O2 sats and heart rate and making sure Amanda does her breathing exercises. I am going back this evening to spend the night there. Ted was planning on getting up really early tomorrow morning to leave for PA, so I might even sleep better at Amanda’s apartment if I don’t get woken up by him. I also want to make sure that Amanda is okay her first night back. Things aren’t going to be like they were before her hospitalization. We were just getting used to Amanda in her apartment and were finding a new ‘normal’. Now we have to find it again. Plus, we are kind of on a holding pattern until Wednesday’s trip to Children’s Hospital. Who knows what can of worms that will open up.

When ever I think of trying to get things back to ‘normal’ I always think of the movie “Young Frankenstein” by Mel Brooks with Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, and Terri Garr. Dr. Frankenstein sends Igor to the brain bank for a brain for his monster. Igor drops the brain he went to fetch and, well, grabs another one. I had to share the scene with you:

It’s the joke around our house that when things aren’t going well, things are ‘abby normal’. If an abby normal brain can result in a monster, well an abby normal life around here results in discord and uneasiness. But patience and perseverance will have to rule while we wait for Children’s Hospital and the doctor’s there to examine Amanda. I only want her back to the best she can be so she can enjoy life in her own place. I don’t like abby normal.

Here’s hoping we soon find a normal.

just Laurel

weary

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Yes – home is a good place to be.

The past three weeks with Amanda in the hospital were not fun at all. They were exhausting. It’s like being gone on a vacation out-of-town for three weeks and then coming home to play catch-up on the bills, laundry, and house cleaning. Only it wasn’t a vacation. And Amanda is still on the mend. She wants to go back to her apartment (which is a good thing) but she is still a bit weak and her staff has to be made aware of what to look for in regards to Amanda’s health, and of the new meds and treatments she has now.

Our next step is to get her evaluated at Children’s Hospital, so we are resting up for that. We are going on Wednesday.

I get to go to work tomorrow – I like my job! Ted and I are taking Amanda to her apartment for the day. We’ll see how it goes. She just seems a bit weary. We all are weary.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Hope all is well.

Just Laurel