If you are a reader of my blog then you already know that I am a recovery nurse in an ambulatory surgical facility.  I tend to the patients when they come out of surgery.  Of course, I have thirsty and hungry patients who have followed pre-surgery orders not to eat or drink.  My patients are almost all happy to be offered a drink of juice or water.  Many of my patients are also dying for a cigarette (no pun intended).  But I understand.  The addiction to nicotine is a fierce one.

I tried smoking cigarettes once and they never grabbed me.   I have my own addictions:  Chocolate. Potato chips.  And most any kind of candy.  If there is a bowl of candy around or an open bag of chips … like the Lay’s Potato Chip ad stated, I cannot “eat just one”.  (I also have a passion for peanut butter – by the spoonful.)  My daughter recognizes this fact and sent me this lovely cartoon with the statement, “This reminds me of you”.  Thanks daughter.  But she’s right.

So why am I bringing this up?  In my attempt to read some of the book of Romans, well, I am not theologically trained, and in my trying to understand it, this is what I’ve come up with…

Man is sinful.  It’s just our nature.  It is our craving.  Ever since the fall in the Garden of Eden, man learned to be greedy, selfish, envious, and sinful in many ways.  We try to break the habit.  It’s not easy.  It’s just so easy to be bad.  By God’s grace, he becomes rather like our counselor and coach to help us become more righteous and holy.  Romans talks about us becoming slaves to either evil or to Christ.  And that’s really what it becomes – we both devote ourselves to following the sinful life and allow evil to be our master.  Or we break our sinful addiction and allow Christ to be our master.  The thing is – like any recovering addict, we have to practice every day to keep strong and resist sinning.  If we don’t, we can quickly fall off the wagon.  Thankfully, God is quick to forgive and always gives us another chance.  It’s hard work to put our sinful nature behind us and to live life anew with Christ.  It takes daily discipline.  You have to squelch the old habits and cravings.  Hopefully the new walk with Christ will become the new habit.

I know we are all trying to be good students of God’s word.  Sometimes what we read is simple to understand and sometimes (for us common people) it is challenging to understand.  Here’s some of Romans chapter 6 from which I unraveled in my own words above:

Romans 6:11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. 14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.  19 I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Addictions are bad.  Some harm more than others.  We all know when we smoke too much, or eat too much, work too much, or have more than we should of a lot of things.  But don’t let your ‘too much’ of something be your master.

Hope you don’t mind me being ‘preachy’ today!  I just wanted to share with you how I came to some understanding of my bible reading.  But do you know how many rolls of those little “Smarties” candies I had to eat while I tried to wrap my head around Romans 6?

The whole bowlful.

Just Laurel

This is the story of my co-worker I will call Ryan.

As a nurse in an ambulatory surgical center, my co-workers are mostly other RN’s and several techs that assist us.  We are all female except for Ryan.  Ryan is a tech.  The job of the tech is to help with transporting the patients to and from the operating room, get patient temperatures and blood pressures, and basically help the RN’s so that we can do the paperwork, pass meds, and tend to the IV’s.

Ryan is helpful to have around because, being a guy, he can help with moving the heavier patients.  But Ryan can be a pain in the butt.  He is a prankster and is always stealing my pen.  He takes things and hides them or makes us beg for them to be handed back.  He comes in in the mornings always yawning and tired and is the first to want to leave at the end of the day.  He likes to grab a marker and put lines of ink on another tech’s arm.  He will scribble on my schedule.

Ryan comes across to me like a teenager.  Imagine my surprise when I found out he was thirty-two.  I heard he had a son about sixteen years old and another child by his current girlfriend.  Ryan also lives at home with his parents.  Some days we get really frustrated with Ryan.  The other co-workers would complain about him.

I decided last week to look at Ryan from another angle.  I recognized that he was really good with the patients.  Truly.   So instead of complaining about Ryan, I decided to take him on in a different way.  He was standing by my work area and I turned to him and said, “You know, Ryan, you are really good with the patients.”  “Huh? Really?” he replied, “You’re not just being sarcastic are you?”  “No,” I told him, “You do a very nice job of talking to them and making them feel comfortable.  So maybe you could treat your co-workers the same way!”  I added with a smile.  “Really?” he asked me again with wide eyes.  “You think I do a good job?”  “I really do, Ryan.  I think you need to believe in yourself because you are quite good at what you do.  I’ve seen you interact with patients and they really like you” I told him sincerely.  “Well, thank you,” Ryan replied to me.  I think I surprised him.  I think I may have boosted his otherwise sagging self-esteem.  I just wanted him to see that he was good at his job and maybe boost his confidence.

Crazy Ryan.  I must say that he keeps the work day lively.

I got a three day weekend with today, Monday, off from work.  I was running errands when my phone rang.  The caller ID showed my work number and I answered the call from the nurse in charge.  “Laurel,” she said, “I know you will be at work tomorrow but I wanted to let you know today because the rest of us here already know – but Ryan is dead.  He died in his sleep and they found him dead Sunday morning.  They don’t know what happened but will be doing an autopsy.”

Oh my goodness.  I started to cry.  Not crazy, immature, lovable, fun Ryan?  He had just purchased an engagement ring for his girlfriend.  He was trying to get his act together.  He was too young to have his life cut short like that.

And then I remembered my last conversation with him.  I was so glad I made him feel good.  It would have been horrible if our last exchange together had not been nice.  I would have felt terrible.

It made me think 😉

You never know when you are talking to someone for the last time.  Isn’t it better to part on encouraging words instead of on negative ones?  What if I had said something sarcastic and teasing?  If my last words had been bitter or mean, I would have regretted that tone of our last conversation before his passing.  And if I look at things in reverse, what if I had passed instead?  I would much rather be remembered as one who shared encouraging words.

I never imagined last weeks’ conversation with Ryan to be our last.

Be careful how you talk to people.  What if yours is the last voice they hear?  What if your words are the last you will speak?

Earlier last week, Ryan showed me a new necklace that he had just purchased.  It was a gold chain with a crucifix on it.  I scolded him because it cost him way too much money.  He was very proud of it.  I never had gotten a chance to talk about faith with him.  He knew I sang at my church.  I hope he wore a cross because he believed and had Christ in his heart.

Darn you Ryan for becoming my friend and then dying on us.

You can have my pen, Ryan.  Keep it.

Ryan, if you can see my tears, I hope you know that they fall because you were fun and a good person and I cry because I will miss you.  And because you were my friend.

Just Laurel

If you are a regular reader of my blog then you know about Skipper the cat and how he had to be put to sleep several weeks ago.  I neglected to tell you that it wasn’t more than a couple of weeks after that when my daughter came home from a weekend away and deposited a small, less-than-a-pound, fur ball on my lap.  Welcome Oliver the kitten.

Sigh.

Needless to say, he has already stirred my swirling thoughts into producing a story for today.

Oliver is totally cute.  You have to wonder where the batteries go to power this little curious bouncing ball of fluff.  He will play and play and play and play and … then … stop … to crash into exhausted nap mode.  He is so tiny, we have to watch where we step.  Little kittens come with tiny razor sharp claws and teeth.  We have to always be on the lookout … because  … I may be standing at the sink doing dishes … or sitting at the table working … and without warning … little quiet Oliver will suddenly leap at your leg and grab on to your pant legs with all four paws at full claw extension.  YEOW!  He grabs on and CLINGS as if he was wrapped around a tree trunk and then proceeds to climb up my leg until he reaches my lap.  Oww, oww, ow, ow!  Sometimes, when I see him coming, I reach down and lift him to my lap to save myself from his prickling climb up my leg.  Many times he will continue with claws extended to play in my lap and bite and claw at my hands and clothes.  I am not his litter mate.  I don’t like that kind of play and I promptly plop him back on the floor.

It made me think  😉

How many times do we stray from God in our lives, only to suddenly recognize that we need Him?  We then proceed to desperately reach for him in an attempt to grab hold and cling to Him for help.  I can envision God in His greatness, feeling His lost sheep as they grab at his feet in hopes of making it to the comfort of His arms.  “Oh, you’re back!” He might think as He smiles and sees us nearby.   Of course, our great God will always forgive and welcome us back to Him.  But all too often, we reach the safety of his care, only to want to play by our own rules.  I can see God gently placing us back down like I did with Oliver the kitten, only to wait for us to come back again.

Oliver played that game a couple times with me today.  He wanted up so badly that I reached down to lift him to my lap so I wouldn’t have to suffer his sharp claws.  I was more than happy to scratch his ears and give him a warm place to rest.  He was back on the floor several times until he finally got the message that I wasn’t going to play his game of sharp claws and teeth and he finally turned on the purring to enjoy the warmth and safety of my arms.

God loves us and wants us close.  He wants us to cling to Him.  If we have strayed, He is more than joyful to gather us back in His fold.  Then why do we expect to get there and still play the game of life by our own rules?  If our stray path in life has caused us to want to get back on track and back to Christ, we must rest in His arms and let Him take over.  He knows what is best for us.

Thanks Oliver.  Ow, ow, oww, owwww.
You stinky, furry, darling, little pest.

Just Laurel

Psalm 63:8 I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

The other day I was feeling like my wheels were spinning yet I was going nowhere.  You know the feeling:  When you are so busy with stuff and yet you feel stuck in a rut and not making any progress.  I don’t like that feeling.

Yesterday I started physical therapy for my back.  Today I woke up and it hurt more than usual.

Sigh.

I feel like it’s time to make some progress in my life yet I feel stuck where I am and tired of it too!  Do you ever feel that way?  With my back hurting me and the crisp yet sunny morning beckoning  I got my walking shoes on and left the house hoping I could clear some cobwebs from my head.  I was hoping the walk would loosen up my back too.

Now I have this route that I have been walking for a couple of years that consists of a path of concentric circles, like the leaves of a shamrock, so that I can walk a short distance and be back home, or continue with another round and lengthen my walk.  As I walked out the door with my attitude I found myself walking in another direction.  I started grumbling to myself that I had totally gone in an old direction that makes me walk a long distance away from the house before I can walk back home.  But I kept walking.  I started mumbling to God as I do on my walks and obediently shut up so I could listen instead.

Here’s what I heard:

It’s okay if some days we feel like we are going nowhere.  The good thing is our wheels are still spinning!  If we stop moving … well … we stop.  We just sink deeper into that mud pit that we are stuck in.  But if we keep moving with our wheels turning, sooner or later the wheels are going to catch hold and we’ll find ourselves moving again.  Maybe we want to get moving TODAY but maybe God has a reason for us to be patient and wait for progress to be made tomorrow.  I have an acquaintance who is struggling both with a special needs child and an ailing elderly mom who has been in and out of hospitals lately and she wants things to change and get better NOW.  She is tired of being stuck in her rut.  I understand.  But whether we are stuck for 5 days, a year, or thirty years – I believe if we put our trust in God, He has a reason for the timing and will give us the strength to keep our wheels spinning.

I remember once when I was stuck in my car on an icy street corner.  I panicked and tried at first to push on the accelerator in hopes of driving fast off of the ice.  That didn’t work.  Only when I calmed down and gently started rocking the car – forward, then reverse, then forward, then reverse – did I get some real strong forward momentum going and I was able to calmly move forward and off my icy patch.  And I think life is like that sometimes.  Stuck in a rut, we may have to spin our wheels for a while or even take a few steps backward, then forward, and even backwards again before we can continue on our journey.

When I got to the end of my walking route today, I was tired and mad at taking a different route today.  But I had no choice, for to get back home I had to walk some more.  I made it home of course, and my back even stopped hurting.  I think it was stiff and stuck too – and just needed to be limbered up.

Stuck in a rut?  Waiting for directions and a new route?

Just keep moving  🙂

Hebrews 12:1b Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

Acts 17:28 For in Him we live, and move, and have our being.

Just Laurel

The other day at work as we were finishing up for the day, the nurse manager got on the paging system in the building and announced, “Code T, Code T.”

I had no clue!

Was she just joking about something?  Was it something real?  I know about ‘code blue’ and ‘code red’ but ‘code T’?  Everyone was walking leisurely to one area of our building.  So I followed.  “What is going on?” I queried.  “Tornado drill,” someone answered.  “Ohhh …” I thought … “There must be some bad weather outside and there is a threat of tornadoes.”  Really??  No – it was just a drill and one that I hadn’t been told about before.  The “T” of course stood for tornado and there is a designated safe place in our building – in case of a real tornado.

A ‘drill’ is a good thing.  It can help you train or rehearse you on a subject or procedure.  When there is suddenly a fire, a non-responsive patient, or even a tornado – you can be ready to react and help almost automatically because of the repetitive practice drills you have performed.

It made me think.  🙂

Prayer and bible study are the practice drills for our faith!  You might say you believe in God, but if you never go to church or train by reading the instruction manual (I’m talking Bible here) then how are you going to react when trouble happens?  All too often, people who say they are Christian but do not practice their faith will call desperately to God when something bad happens in their life and they need help.  That’s okay because God will hear us when we call – and He remembers us – even when we haven’t been around to visit in a while.  He may even send you a little life challenge to grab your attention and get you back in the fold.  But wouldn’t it be better to be prepared and ready for troubles?  People are always attending in-services and seminars to become better at their jobs and professions.  We all need to drill ourselves in our faith.  It will help us stay calm and prayerful in a crisis, knowing and believing God’s peace.  But keep in mind that – just like a medical person has been drilled and trained to do CPR on a person in a medical crisis – maybe we can jump in and do some sharing of God’s peace and love when we see someone in a personal crisis.  No one is going to yell “Code P, Code P,” when they are in need of some prayer.  You’re going to jump right in there and help when you see that help is needed.  If you’ve been spending time in prayer and studying your manual – it will just come naturally.

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and be ready always to give an answer to every man who asketh you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

Someone at the office tornado drill asked if there were any other ‘code’ drills that we needed to know besides the code blue, code red, and code T.  We were told that those were the only drills but that we needed to know what to do in case of a bomb threat.  What??  A bomb threat?  I know the code word for that – RUN!

Just Laurel

I had a doctor appointment this morning to have my hand checked.  About a year ago I had my first visit with Dr. Singer, a hand surgeon, to arrange for a small tumor to be taken out of my palm.  Through the course of my surgery and post-operative visits with Dr. Singer we realized our paths may well have crossed some twenty-five years earlier.  He had been doing his residency under a pediatric hand surgeon who did the surgeries that Amanda had on both of her hands.  Dr. Singer related to me the emotional experiences of his time spent at Children’s Hospital of Detroit.  The struggles and pain that he saw families go through touched him deeply as he watched those families either crumble apart or pull together under the strain of the adversity they were facing.  I gave him a copy of my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made.  Dr. Singer is a very busy man and over the course of several appointments, he kept me updated as he read a little more of the book between each visit.  Today he informed me he had finished it – how he loved it – and how another woman in his office was now reading it.  Both he and this other woman embarrassed me by praising the book and how wonderful it was.  It especially touched Dr. Singer as it reminded him of his early days of being a surgeon and how patients and their families struggle sometimes with challenging medical circumstances.  The memories helped him to remember to keep in mind the patient’s perspective and individuality.

I left the doctor’s office with tears in my eyes.  As I drove home, I had the radio on and the news stories were all about the memorial activities happening in New York City with it being the twelfth anniversary of 9/11.  My heart broke as I remembered the horror and shock of that day.  The tears in my eyes threatened even more.  I had to stop them so I could drive.

Remember.

That is the theme for today I guess.  And remembering is good.  Past experiences, either good or bad, form who we are.  Nine eleven was horrible and so many people lost loved ones.  But loved ones should not be forgotten.  For the people who survived, the memories of friends and family who once influenced their lives are instrumental to whom they have grown to become.  Remember.  And for Dr. Singer, his recollection of how he once felt so much compassion for patients’ lives and not just their medical needs reminded him of how to be a better doctor.

Remember.

I know we all have things we’ve done or things that have happened in our past that we’d like to forget.  For the most part, we keep those memories buried.  But at times, it is important to remember that painful, sad, or embarrassing memory because it can help us to not be so mean or unkind to others today.  The good memories we need to share – to keep that memory alive.  I just read the other day about how kids who have heard stories from their parents about their grandparents, and things that happened in that parents’ childhood (you know – the “when I was your age” stories) actually grow up with more self-esteem and confidence.  The reason why is because they are aware of the past that they came from – that they are part of a bigger picture and legacy than being just a person in the here and now.

As I was leaving the doctor’s office this morning, the woman who was currently reading my book called to me and said, “Oh – here – this was a note from Dr. Singer that was stuck in the book that he wanted you to have.”  It reads “Great book – just as I remember.”

Remember.

2 Peter 1:15 And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

Psalm 22:2 All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him.

Ephesians 1:16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

Just Laurel

A friend of mine had an experience at her work that she recently shared with me.  She told me of how she would tag different piles of papers to be filed with small post-it notes.  These little scraps of paper were probably no larger than two by one and a half inches in size.  She uses maybe three to five of them a week.  A note from management appeared on her desk that stated, “Please do not use these post-it papers for this task as it is not cost efficient.”  What?  Understanding that all businesses must monitor spending, and her company chose to point out this small expenditure as an outlandish expense?  My friend pointed out that there were plenty of other areas at her work where they could cut back on expenses or get someone to stop wasting time or product.  But to penny pinch and pick at such a little expense seemed extreme and a little crazy.

Now I don’t know all the details of the finances or management of my friend’s place of work.  But it appears to me that someone is nit-picking.  They are so focused on a financially small issue, that they may even be missing a larger, more money draining issue.  Perhaps they need to step back and look at the whole work operation – at the whole picture.

The reality is:  We all get caught up and focused on one small thing from time to time in our lives.  Personally, I could let it bother me when my husband leaves drinking glasses out on the counter overnight.  But the fact that he will actually do the dishes and empty the dishwasher when it needs it allows me to shrug off that one small bad habit.  As parents, we all could criticize the rumpled way our children make their beds before backing up to see that at least the bed was made and the room may even be in some sort of cluttered clean.  Perhaps there is a co-worker that just rubs you the wrong way or a member of your church committee who just drives you nuts – why not take a step back and look at the whole picture?  Do you like your job and the rest of your co-workers?  Is your committee accomplishing its goals?  If we take the criticizing focus off of the one thing that bothers us to recognize the whole panoramic picture, it gives us a whole new view.

I love Readers Digest and read it cover to cover.  They have one particular feature where they show an image from a different perspective.  You have to guess what you’re looking at.  The next page will then show a picture of the whole thing and you are amazed at the different view.  The feature is titled “Look Twice:  One scene two very different views.”  The view on the upper left of this story is actually the work of Lake Superior on the bottom of a boat.  All summer long, the cold, clear waters swirl unseen designs on sailboats’ hulls and keels.  The image on the upper right is the feathery breast of the iridescent ocellated turkey that resides in the Yucatan Peninsula.

 

Sometimes we need to back up and take a different view of life when we don’t like what we see or when we feel a need to complain about a scene in our lives.  We need to take off the blinders and take in all the surroundings of a situation to honestly and fairly assess it.

If you don’t like what you are seeing today, try taking a different view.

Open your eyes.

Just Laurel

Mathew 7:3-5 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We used to grow zucchini.  It was easy to grow and the family loved the zucchini bread I would bake.  I recall so many times when I would be looking for a zucchini to pick and I would find a ginormous one hiding underneath a large leaf.  Those zucchini grew oh-so-fast!  Sometimes it was even hard to give those things away because there were so many of them.  In fact, did you know that August 8^th was officially “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”.   Established by Pennsylvanian Tom Roy, this day encourages sharing and as Tom Roy announced:   “Due to the overzealous planting of zucchini, citizens are asked to drop off baskets of the squash on neighbors’ doorsteps.”

I don’t have too much zucchini this year – I neither planted it nor am I looking for any donations.  But my daughter Kristen thought it would be fun to buy some tomatoes from the local farmers market and make some tomato-y things.  We bought a big box.  She made and canned homemade marinara sauce.  Such a big box of tomatoes.   She made and canned tomato ketchup.  There were still tomatoes.  She made and canned some salsa.  There were still tomatoes.  Did I tell you that it was a very big box?

It made me think of the saying about having too much of a good thing.  But I don’t think that is a correct description because, what’s wrong with all those good tomatoes?  I looked up “too much” in the bible and it always referred to having more than was good for you:

1 Kings 19:7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.”
Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Proverbs 25:16 If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit.
Proverbs 25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house— too much of you, and they will hate you.
John 2:10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

Now the bible also talks about having things in “abundance”:

Genesis 27:28 May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.
Job 36:31 This is the way he governs the nations and provides food in abundance.
2 Peter 1:2 Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

The bottom line is:   If you have more than you can make good use of, then you have too much.  But if you can make good use of too many tomatoes, then you have an abundance.  It is not good if too much stress in your life makes you physically sick.  Too much food and too much wine is also bad for you, unless you know how to take the over-abundance and store it up for later, or even share your bounty.  It is not ‘too much’ if you know how to share or save it for later.  It is ‘too much’ if it has negative effects or rots and goes bad before you can even use it.

If I had too much money, I would share my over-abundance with others.  Too much time can lead one to evil deeds unless you use that spare time for good tasks.  Too much of anything is … well … too much.  And abundance is when you can turn your too-much-of-a-good-thing into something good for now and later, for yourself and others.

Do you have too much of something in your life that is being wasted?  I hope you can turn it around and make it an abundance of something good.

The tomato sauce I made today is still simmering on the stove 🙂

Just Laurel