Just Laurel

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listen

April 5, 2014 Leave a Comment

I am a listener.  I am not the gabby one.  I can hear SO MUCH when I stay silent and focus on listening.

We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.

I shall retell a story from an earlier blog about an acquaintance I had at church.  One day as I was going up the staircase, she was going down.  The conversation went kind of like this:  “Hi Laurel, how are you??  Blah blah blah.  Did you know that blah … blah … blah …” and as I looked at her waiting for my turn to talk, she finished with, “ … blah … blah … blah … well talk to you later.” And she disappeared down the stairs.  I was left with my mouth gaping.  I laughed and continued on my way up, wondering if she realized that I hadn’t said one word to her.

A wise old owl lived in an oak; the more he saw, the less he spoke;
the less he spoke, the more he heard; why can’t we all be like that bird?

Besides listening to the words and meanings that people are trying to express to you in speech, there is so much more to be an attentive listener for.  Just this morning, as Ted and I were getting ready for the day in our bedroom that faces the back yard, I heard the sweet sound of children’s voices.  I hushed Ted and made him listen.  It was the neighbor kids playing in our back yard.  It was the sweet sound of Spring!  After a long cold and silent winter, we finally have peeks of green plants and the lively voices of children playing outside.

It’s easy to entertain some people.  All you have to do is sit and listen.

At work we use a chime system for different alerts.  When a patient arrives in the front waiting room, there is one tone that alerts our pre-op staff that another patient has arrived and we can get them and get started with their case.  Two beeps mean a patient is done in the operating room and I can go get them to take them to recovery.

The first step to wisdom is silence; the second is listening.

Since Amanda moved into her apartment, I have had her text me every morning when she gets up.  The small text chime my phone makes tells me that she is awake and is up in her wheelchair.  The other morning she decided to call me instead of text.  A ringing phone at 6am usually means she is sick, or stuck, or needs assistance.  The jolting sound of the phone had my half-awake body stumbling out of bed to find the ringing house phone as panic quickly raced through my body.

A winner listens; a loser can’t wait until it’s his turn to talk.

So what about listening to God?  Some people don’t think He exists – they say they don’t see Him – or hear Him.  I say – Are you listentogodlistening?  Are you so busy, like my church friend, doing all the talking TO God?  At work, when I was a new employee, I didn’t always hear the 2 tone chime.  It took practice.  Now I can be busy with another patient, and yet I hear that chime every time.  And even Amanda’s morning text; I used to wake every morning when I heard it.  Now I can hear it in my half-sleep and know she’s safe,
and fall back asleep.  If you’d like to hear from God, try listening.  You might have to stop what you’re doing, or practice your listening skills.  You may have to shush some other noises and focus on what you hear – and like the sweet sound of children’ s voices in the yard after a long cold winter, you may hear God talking to you.  You don’t want to wait until He has to call with bad news, like Amanda’s early morning phone calls, that will have you stumbling out of bed and scared at what the call is about.

Just listen.

Just Laurel

John 8:47 Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

Proverbs 2:1-5 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

John 10:27-28 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

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refiner’s fire

April 2, 2014 Leave a Comment

I made it to the gym this morning. It takes a committed push from deep inside myself – but I always feel accomplished when I’m done. Never any regrets for going. My main goal when I work out is NOT to sweat buckets on the tread mill or elliptical (I don’t like that machine) but to work with the weights and build muscle. More muscle means a leaner, more toned body as well as strength and a faster metabolism. The technique for building muscles is to do a repetition of a weight exercise until you can’t quite finish that twelfth rep. And you do three sets of twelve. Just when you can’t do another repetition and it starts to hurt and burn a little; it means you are tearing muscle fibers. The mechanism (in layman’s terms here) is that the tears are little bits of muscle damage that is GOOD for your muscle because the next day, when you rest that muscle, it will repair itself and even make a little more muscle – and that means an increase in muscle fibers.

So now let me couple that thought with what I read this morning.

🙂

Psalm 66:8-10 Praise our God, all peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.  For refinersfireyou, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.

Precious metals must be heated at high temperatures so that all impurities are removed. So what does this have to do with building muscle you ask?

Unless our muscles are challenged and even ‘burned’ so to speak, they will not change or grow. The same is true in our lives. We could be living life on a pretty comfortable path, but unless we are tested by challenges, we will stay the same and never grow. God will put situations in our lives from which we may never be the same again. He is helping to refine us; get rid of the impurities; so that we may become more like him.

At the gym, it is so easy to reduce the amount of weight that I am working with – I just may not be motivated that day or feel like working hard. Many times God sends us life challenges where we cannot always so simply remove the extra weight.   We have to carry it. Sometimes it hurts.

But if we are faithful and true to trust Him, He has promised to be with us to the end and will carry that burden for us. He will refine us and we will be better people in the end.

No pain no gain baby!

Just Laurel

Isaiah 48:10  See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

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splash of happy

March 31, 2014 Leave a Comment

joySecurity cameras. They are everywhere. Their purpose is to catch people doing BAD things. If there weren’t people robbing banks, stealing from stores, or vandalizing things, then there would probably be no need for them.

I watch a lot of short videos presented on line by www.faithit.com. I love what they report! Instead of all the bad and horrible news stories of murders, robberies, dirty politics, etc., they post up-lifting stories that splash some good news in the midst of all the worldly bad stuff.

So those security cameras? Faithit put together a short video of all the GOOD things some of these security cameras caught on video recording. And in the midst of my very busy and stressful day, I happened to watch this video via Facebook (If you “like” faithit’s Facebook page you will get notification of the videos they post each day on your Facebook newsfeed).

It put a smile on my face.

Hope it makes you smile, too.

So – I am too busy to blog today but not too busy to share a little splash of happy with you. I think the lesson here is to expect the UNexpected and to look for the JOY and the HAPPY in life everyday – instead of hunting down only the bad stuff with hidden cameras.

http://www.faithit.com/acts-of-kindness-caught-on-camera/

just Laurel

btw – The NEW blog/website IS COMING SOON!

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self advocacy

March 29, 2014 Leave a Comment

Your three-year-old demands jelly beans and soda pop for lunch. Giving it to him or her would make them so happy. Will you do it?

Ninety year old grandma insists she can still drive despite her growing dementia. She demands her rights and demands the car keys. Do you let her have them?

Your son refuses to check his sugar and take his insulin shots while eating a diet high in sugar. He is so happy when he can eat what he wants to. Do you allow him to endanger his health and risk his life?

Why do people think that the best thing for each of our own selves is to have the things that make us happy? Is quality of life based on getting what I WANT? Is life really about me me me? I am so overwhelmed with the whole idea of self-determination and self-advocacy. Here are some definitions to help:

self-determination n 1. The power or ability to make a decision for oneself without influence from outside.

Definition of Self-Advocacy Self-advocacy refers to:an individual’s ability to effectively communicate, convey, negotiate or assert his or her own interests, desires, needs, and rights. It involves making informed decisions and taking responsibility for those decisions. (VanReusen et al., 1994)Self-knowledge is the first step towards advocating for your rights. You need to know your strengths, needs, and interests before you can begin to advocate.

I’m sorry but in all realty, we don’t always know what is best for ourselves. As children, we need direction and guidance from loving parents. Even as young adults, we benefit from truthful advice of friends and critiques from our bosses at our jobs. Elderly people need to consult their physicians for sound medical advice and be open to making changes when older bodies can’t keep doing what the younger one did.

So – what am I talking about?

🙂

WHY am I talking about this?

We are looking at another place for Amanda to live. Yes, she loves her apartment, but there have been some night problems and safety issues, as well as her need for more socialization that has prompted us to start looking. Amanda is nervous because she does not handle change well and is freaked out about moving. We would, of course, help her adjust and try to make the change gradual.

But I am so angry.

I am livid.

A few weeks ago Amanda met with her caseworker. I was there as well. We were discussing getting more staff for Amanda and/or moving her somewhere else. Amanda wasn’t saying much and her caseworker said with a smug and patronizing little smile, “I know how hard it is Amanda to say some things in front on your parents.”

WHAT???

Doesn’t this chick understand that I’ve already spent 30 years praying I’ve made the right and best decisions for Amanda? I stood up and told her I’d be happy to wait in the hall. When the caseworker finally left, I told her that I would have to speak to Ted and discuss things. I’d get back to her the following week.

About a week after that, Amanda ‘fessed up to me and said that when I left the room, that the caseworker offered to Amanda a paper she could sign so she could be her own advocate.

WHAT???

This caseworker has no clue. How has Amanda lived this long, done this well, and succeeded in so many areas if it weren’t for the exhausting yet loving care that Ted and I have tried to give for all these years? Really? Have we made BAD decisions for Amanda? And the bottom line is, Amanda may be able to tell you what she likes … but she can’t always be sure of what she needs. To self-advocate, the above definition states that she must make INFORMED decisions and then take responsibility. I am so tired of the whole mental health group of people insisting that special needs people have the right to self-determination and to be able to state what they WANT.

You might as well fill the baby’s bottle with Kool-Aid and give grandma the car keys!surrender

So now let’s get some religious input on all of this. Our loving God has given us free will. It’s up to us – we can choose good or we can choose evil. We can follow Him or we can live a worldly life with material gratifications. But when we surrender ourselves to Christ, He will direct our paths and give us what we need.  And we might not always like what path our life takes, but in the end we always see that Father knows best and we are blessed. To me – to follow Christ IS like being set free. Choosing God’s will over our own is no easy feat. But if we truly trust God, we’ll have the strength to let go of our wants and passions and believe that His will is perfect, right, and the very best thing for us.

Amanda, honey, I only want what is best for you and to see you happy and safe.

Sorry for the lengthy rant here folks – just offering a taste of the frustrations Ted and I face some days.

Oh – and thank goodness Amanda was wise enough to NOT sign that paper.

But still …

Just Laurel

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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just pray

March 26, 2014 Leave a Comment

At the surgical center where I work we have different doctors using our facility each day to perform eye surgery on their patients. Our doctors prayare male and female, old and young, and from various ethnic backgrounds.

One day many months ago, Dr. Farid (NOT his real name  🙂  Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those I write about) had finally arrived to perform surgery. His patients had already arrived and we had them ready and waiting for their procedures. I watched Dr. Farid go into the restroom. Many minutes passed by. “Oh GEEZ,” I thought. He’s been in there a LONG time and we all know that a guy, in the morning, in the bathroom, and for a long time can only mean one thing. And I was not going in there to pee for quite a while after HE got done if you know what I mean. I mentioned to a co-worker who had worked there longer than me, “Dr. Farid has been in the bathroom for quite a while now.” Her quick and easy response was…

“He’s praying.”

What??

Now I don’t know if Dr. Farid is Arabic, or Muslim, or even what country he is from. I do know that he is a very nice man and treats his patients with great respect. I also know that if I were going to have surgery, I sure would be pleased to know that my surgeon prayed before operating on me.

On surgery days when Dr. Farid is operating, it is now part of the expected sequence of the morning to see him disappear into the bathroom before any surgery begins.

Why can’t we Christians be more devout and unashamed about our faith?

What if we all got on our knees before starting our day?

Now we might not all be going to work to perform critical or even life-saving surgery on patients each day, but don’t you think we could pave the way to a better day if we asked God to join us and lead us?

Thank you, Dr. Farid, for your example.

Just Laurel

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

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frozen threats

March 24, 2014 Leave a Comment

Like most people, Ted and I have been exposed to the music from the newest Disney animated film, Frozen. The music is pretty catchy and we have been playing it quite a bit. Ted bought the newly released dvd the other day and we thought we’d wait to watch it until this past Sunday when Amanda spends the day at our house.

We’d been playing the music and talking about the movie to Amanda for a couple of weeks and she never acted interested. We got eye rolls from her when we talked about viewing the movie. Our excitement about finally seeing it was met with her negative and disinterested response.

We watched the movie yesterday and, as I expected, she LOVED it.

Now allow me to veer this story to another direction before I tie it all together 🙂

We’ve had some issues with Amanda lately with the primary concern being that she has been taking off her A-VAP at night. Long story short is that an A-VAP is kind of like a C-PAP that all you snorers and sleep apnea people out there wear at night. If Amanda does not wear her A-VAP she can get very ill with breathing problems and pneumonia. Lately, she has been taking it off shortly after going to bed and the eventual results will be hazardous to her health.   The issue has resulted in Ted and me searching for a better place for her to live. She needs a place where there is 24-hour staffing so that the staff can check on her during the night and help her put her A-VAP back on.

We have been talking to Amanda about moving her to a group home or even another apartment where she would have one or two roommates. We feel Amanda would benefit from the safety of 24-hour staffing as well as the stimulation of having more people around her. (If you know Amanda at all then you KNOW she is a people person.)

This morning at 6am she called Ted on the house phone and made me get on the extension. She wanted to inform us that if we so much as tried to move her to another place that she would stop making her evening phone calls to me – communication would be cut off!

She threatened us.

Welcome to the thankless yet necessary world of the caregiver.

Whether it is a parent looking after a special needs adult child or an adult who is tending to their aging parents, we have to make decisions that our loved one is not going to like. It’s so hard. I asked my friend, Elaine Pereira author of the book, I Will Never Forget, about her experience with her mother and whether she ever got threats. Elaine’s journey with her mother down the road of dementia and Alzheimer’s is the topic of her book. Here’s what she said: “My mother finished that sentence [of making threats] and several like it often after her move from Kalamazoo to the assisted living place near me. To some threats (“I’m going to call and tell them to come get me”) I would reply with “You can do that Mom”. To the more sinister one to the receptionist: “If you don’t call my daughter, I’m going to slit me throat!” we immediately scheduled a psychiatric consult which was very helpful. Pretty much anything in between hopefully can be diffused, redirected, moderated, etc.” ***

So my dear Amanda, I know you love your apartment, but because we love and care for you so very much, we have to do what’s best for you andcaregiverimage find a better place for you to live. We know change is hard for you, but you will stay healthier in a place with 24-hour staffing and will certainly enjoy the extra living companions.  But we were right about the movie – we knew you’d love it. And I think you will find that we are right about moving you.

Oh she was angry on the phone with us this morning. Later in the morning, she texted me: “DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN? : )” My interpretation: I (Amanda) am no longer mad at you and I want to tease and joke a little and of course you were right that I loved the movie yesterday. (For those of you with no clue about the movie Frozen, view this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g58-qQUyY4A ) She told me later that she couldn’t get the song out of her head.

Amanda’s threat of cutting off communications in the evening with me did not scare me into changing our plans for a new home for her. In Elaine’s words, the threat has been diffused for now.

It’s still not easy – being a caregiver – and having to make (and force) some decisions.

This small storm has passed.

I guess I shall just …

Let it go.

(Oh – you Frozen watchers knew that was coming! And for those of you who need more frozen info:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk )

Just Laurel

***Find Elaine Pereira’s book, I Will Never Forget at Amazon.com.

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selfies

March 22, 2014 Leave a Comment

I made it to the gym this Saturday morning.  My motivation?  Besides wanting to fit into last summer’s clothes (they’re nice and I don’t want to buy new and/or bigger ones) I also make sure to get to the gym at least 3 times a week to justify the monthly membership I pay.  I echo my friend Clara’s sentiment:  “I often have to drag myself there, but I feel SO GOOD when I’m done.”

The gym has quite a smorgasbord of members:  big, small, tall, short, wide, strong, and weak.   Unless you are there with your BFF who is buddying up with your weight work out, a person tends to exercise in their own little world and we try to put the blinders on.  Of course there is that slice of the gym population that is there to pick-up a date (or at least I’ve heard that – really??).  Everyone works out and tries real hard NOT to be caught staring at anyone else.  Bottom line – at least we all made it to the gym and are trying our best to keep our bodies at their best.  And especially to those members who are brave enough to show up carrying probably twice the weight they should be – you guys rock!

But sometimes…

I’m not staring….

Or listening…

But when you are talking so loudly, I just can’t help myself.

Hee hee.

So these two guys are taking turns doing some weight reps.  They were talking about a common friend and the one guy says to his pal, “…yeah … and he’s always posting selfies of himself…”  “What?” the pal questions.  “Selfies,” he replies, “You know, when you take a picture of yourself with your phone – a SELFIE.”  (I know – this guy is brilliant, isn’t he!)  He continued, “…he takes pictures of himself and posts them on Facebook all the time…”

That’s about all I heard.  But I gathered from what I heard that the guys were finding it so weird that this person took selfies of himself – working out I believe – to share on social media.  They made fun of his behavior, but then what did they do next?  Out came their phones and they were looking up the pictures.  Now who’s weird?

Trying to make myself invisible, I quietly worked my way over to the treadmills, put my ear buds in, programmed a workout, and started my treadmill.  Ah…in my own little world!  Next thing I know, the girl on the treadmill next to me is tapping me on the arm.  I pull out an ear bud and she’s saying to me, “Hi!  How are you!” with a friendly smile on her face.  “Hi!” I echo with my own smile as the voice inside my head screams, “Who are you??”  She continues, “I haven’t seen you in a long time – everything good?  Well, enjoy your workout.” And she was gone.

I have no idea who she was.

I wish I could have taken a selfie with her   🙂    but I didn’t have my phone with me.

So – to the girl who greeted me so exuberantly at LA Fitness today, I am sorry I didn’t know who you were and I should have asked.

And to the girl with the black thong sticking out above her yoga pants, you need to apologize to US because that was just NASTY.  (I was NOT staring – but I mean how could you not notice?)

You never know who or what you will see at the gym.  I just chalk it up to entertaining distractions while I push myself through my workout.selfie

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone!

Just Laurel

btw – here’s a SELFIE of ME and my laptop computer on the kitchen table where I do all my writing from!

Proverbs 31:17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

 

Proverbs 24:5 A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might.

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identity crisis

March 20, 2014 Leave a Comment

I took my van for an oil change the other day.  Ted and I always go to the same oil change place with our vehicles.  The guys know us there and are always honest and friendly with us.  Ted drives a lot for his job and is in there quite frequently.  The last time he went in for an oil change he had his new(er) metallic blue Ford Escape and the guys all commented on how surprised they were that he finally bought something to replace his old vehicle.  (It was nearing 300,000 miles!)

So there I was with my aging vehicle.  My van runs just fine – no problems – and it is paid for.  Cosmetically, it is getting quite rusty around the edges.  I don’t care.  Paid for and dependable!  The guys commented on how “Gee, this ‘ole van is doing real well for you!”  Interpretation:  “You sure drive an awful-looking rusty old van.”  I laughed and explained how it didn’t matter to me and then I commented on how they had noticed Ted’s new ride.  “Who’s your husband?” they asked.  “What kind of car does he drive?”

Before I continue with my oil change saga, I want to remind you all that I am “Amanda’s Mom.”  That’s it.  That’s my name.  Amanda is so unique and noticeably different with being a tiny blonde adult in a wheelchair – and everyone recognizes her.  “Amanda!” they cry.   “Hey Amanda, remember me?” they query.  And then with a glance at me I hear, “Oh, and you must be Amanda’s Mom!”

<sigh>

So back to the oil change…

“My husband used to drive an old gray Ford Escape.” I told them.  “Oh yeah!” they cried.  Apparently they immediately knew who my husband was.  Then one of the guys commented, “Yeah – he’s the guy who is always … umm … like incredible … no he’s UNBELIEVABLE.”

Oh dear Lord.

If you don’t know Ted – quick story to bring you up to speed is that, when Ted is asked “Hi, how are you?” he ALWAYS answers, “Unbelievable!”

So the guys were all chirping about “Yeah … I know your husband … haha … Mr. Unbelievable … nice guy … yeah.”  And then they said, “So YOU are Mr. Unbelievable’s wife!”

(I should have said, “No, I’m Amanda’s Mom” but I didn’t.)

But now I’m Mr. Unbelievable’s Wife, too.

 I could have an identity crisis, but I won’t.  I’m okay. pearlygates

HE knows my name 🙂

But on that day down the road when I shall stand before the pearly gates – well – I hope they call my name twice in case I don’t answer the first time!  Who’s Laurel??

John 10:3 The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

Isaiah 43:1 But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Just Mr. Unbelievable’s Wife
just Amanda’s Mom
just Laurel

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the cookie connection

March 19, 2014 4 Comments

I was asked to speak at Jo Brighton Skills Center today.

I was a little nervous

Jo Brighton provides alternative vocational services for special education students, ages 15 through 26.  Amanda attended Jo Brighton.  The Center has a café and bake shop where the students can learn about food preparation, cleaning a kitchen, and other service skills.  In my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made, I include several stories about Amanda during her time at Jo Brighton.  The staff was excited about my book and wanted me to come speak to the students.  “We’ve never had a parent [of one of our students] write a book before [about one of the students] !” they exclaimed.  I was humbled.

So there I was – in the auditorium of Jo Brighton with three classes of students eagerly waiting to hear from me.  <gulp>  So what do I talk about?  Fortunately, the students had prepared a list of questions.  They were good questions and I think I held the audience with my answers for quite some time.  But then I made the personal connection…

One of the teachers asked me to tell about Amanda’s time at Jo Brighton and I had the perfect story to share.  I asked the students if chocchipcookieany of them present had spent time working in the school bakery.  I already knew that the school was famous for the cookies they baked and sold and was certain that most of the students had spent time in the bakery.  Just about all of them raised their hands in affirmation of the question.  I told them the story of the very busy Christmas season at Jo Brighton when people from all over place orders with the Jo Brighton Bakery for cookies.  Amanda was working this one particular season and because of her good phone skills, she was put in charge of answering the phone and writing down cookie orders.  Finally, the instructors decided to stop accepting any more orders – they had more cookies than they could make already!  Even so, when people called and begged for more cookies, the teachers gave in.  That’s why they put Amanda on the phone.  Rules are rules, and Amanda follows them.  The teachers told Amanda to tell callers that the school was not taking any more orders.  And she did.  The kids got a kick out of the story because they could all relate to it.  They laughed as I imitated Amanda saying “No more cookies!”

The students were a delight and I was very impressed.  It was sweet how when one girl asked several questions and I found myself not understanding her muffled speech, another girl piped up right away each time with the interpretation.  It was just natural.  But it was especially more warm and intimate now that we all had the cookie connection.  All those kids had worked in the bakery – and now I shared intimately my own cookie bakery story.   I was one of them.

When our time was over, the students clapped and one jumped up to present me with a container of…

Wait for it …

Guess ! ….

“COOKIES!”  I squealed in delight and exclaimed “You gave me some cookies from your bakery!”  and everyone smiled and laughed.   I was truly delighted and the kids were as well as I embraced their personal and most marvelous gift.

I was initially worried about not being able to connect with this room full of special young adults.  We found our common bond.

Afterwards, I stopped by Amanda’s apartment.  I did not tell her that I had spoken at Jo Brighton.  She graduated from there a good 6 years ago.  I plunked the container of cookies down in front of her.  She looked at them and thanked me for bringing her cookies.  I told her to look closely at them and tell me what kind they were.  “Chocolate Chip” she replied.  Well, yeah, the ones on top were chocolate chip.  “Where are the cookies from?” I asked her.  “Oh!  These are Jo Brighton cookies!” she replied.

Oh yeah.

The cookie connection 🙂

We may all be different, but you can always find something in common.

Just Laurel

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 13:2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

4 Comments Filed Under: Just Laurel Thinking, Uncategorized

giver of care

March 13, 2014 Leave a Comment

If you have ever flown on a plane you are familiar with the safety speech that is presented before take-off on every flight.  Emergency oxygen-maskprocedures are explained to all passengers including what to do if the cabin loses air pressure.  At that time those yellow oxygen face masks are supposed to pop out and you are shown how to put it on and adjust the straps.  (whew – so glad I’ve never had to do that!)  If you have a child or someone who needs assistance in your care, you must put your OWN MASK ON FIRST before assisting that other person.  Why?  Well, what if you tried to help them and after getting an oxygen mask on them, you find yourself so starved of oxygen that you pass out.  Now who is going to help YOU?

The point?

A person cannot be much help to another person if they forget to tend to their own personal needs!

Now I know there are a ton of caregivers out there.  Statistically according to the CDC, more than 34 million unpaid caregivers provide care to someone age 18 and older who is ill or has a disability (AARP, 2008) and an estimated 21% of households in the United States are impacted by caregiving responsibilities (NAC,2004).

That’s a whole lot of caregiving!

I know who you are – lots of you moms out there taking care of special needs children and plenty of you taking care of aging parents.

BUT…

You cannot be a CAREGIVER and GIVE CARE if you have tired yourself out, exhausted your resources, and given ALL you’ve got because you will be EMPTY and you will have NO CARE left to GIVE.

My dear caregiver:  My heart goes out to you.  If you’ve been keeping up with my latest blogs, you now know that you are the third group that I write for.  We have to encourage and support each other.  Caregiving can be exhausting – but who takes care of the caregiver?  After Jesus’s disciples had cared for the crowds of people, they returned and were told by Jesus to retreat to a quiet place to rest:

Mark 6:30-31 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught.  Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

So now you have the triad of WHO the YOU are that I have a heart for and desire to reach.  I am a CAREGIVER because of how my life has been impacted by my daughter, Amanda, who was born with SPINA BIFIDA and the only reason I survived was because of my FAITH in God.

Women of FAITH, CAREGIVERS, and my SPINA BIFIDA friends.  I’m talking to YOU!

Just Laurel

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Hey – it’s me! just Laurel. I am just a 50-something year old mom who lives in southeastern Michigan. Married forever to the love of my life, Ted. We are just like any other family with kids out there: working hard and doing our best to raise great kids and to live as decent, moral people.

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