It’s time for just Laurel to pull herself up by the bootstraps.

That was my initial thought but then, I wasn’t sure what that meant!

So I looked it up, of course. 

This descriptive phrase refers to the imagined feat of lifting oneself off the ground by pulling on one’s bootstraps, or shoe laces.  Impossible!  But figuratively it means to improve your situation by your own efforts.

Ted and I are still reeling from both of us losing our fathers last fall.  Our ache from losing Amanda still throbs at times and now our hearts have more holes that hurt.  We find ourselves wallowing in depression sometimes and through the holidays we easily soothed that discomfort with food – ahh the best medicine!  But it’s a new year and I am making my way back to the gym while being more accountable for the food I consume – both quantity and quality. 

So …

I’m back to the gym and eating right to improve my physical self.  I’ve been trying to make a point of reading God’s word every day … and spending more time talking to Him.  I’ve also just redone my ‘just laurel’ web page.  I tweaked and updated the info and added a ‘photo’ page.  I think it’s okay to be sad at times – the losses wouldn’t hurt so much if they didn’t reflect the great love that is now missed.  I keep reminding myself that the people and actions of the past have shaped who I am – but I must press on to a future.

Let’s have my grandson Henry help illustrate this for us.  A few weeks ago I took this photo of Henry. 

Henry could roll back to tummy and back again.  He could pivot in circles.   But he couldn’t crawl forward.  He kept pushing backwards.  Poor little guy got himself backed up with his legs under the chair and then … he wasn’t able to go anywhere!  He was moving a lot but couldn’t go forward.  That’s rather how I’ve been feeling lately!  Busy but not going anywhere.  I’m happy to say that Henry has been striving harder every day and actually takes a few crawling steps forward now – in fact he isn’t even aware that he has moved forward.  But he keeps moving and the forward motion is happening.  Soon he will master it I’m sure.  And so will I.  If every day I try to eat better, if every day I try to get to the gym, if every day I reach for a future, I know I will reach my goals.  I’m not going to get myself stuck under the sofa!

Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus

Many of you know that I drive to Grand Rapids once a week to spend the day with Henry.  Many of you also know that I love rainbows.  I can’t tell you how many rainbows I’ve seen while on my drive to see Henry.  And yes, I grab my phone to take a picture while I’m driving.  It’s very safe!  To me, a rainbow is God’s way of saying there’s hope and a future. 

So … I’m pulling up my boot straps.  Updated my website, working on getting this body in better shape, and trying to let the past strengthen me so that I can grab the future with purpose and joy!

Happy New Year everyone.

just Laurel

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.