Wish I could say more – but not much has happened. We are still in the ICU.  Amanda is not better – no worse.  Like the last time she had pneumonia she is blowing up like a sausage from all the fluids.  Not pretty.  She mostly sleeps while she gets help with her breathing.

I shall try to give you more of what I’m feeling … it seems I have some time here to write.

The letter of the day shall be “S” – and “S” stands for “sad,” “scared,”.and “still.”

Why are Ted and I sad? After her last bout of pneumonia and three weeks of hospitalization, we NEVER wanted to do THAT again.  I’ve been so sad lately ‘cuz I had a feeling she was spiraling downward to this … and she did.  It’s not fair.  For her.  She can’t eat or drink, hooked up to IV’s and breathing machines, black and blue from needle pokes … It’s just not fair.

Why are we scared? The unknown.  How many days?  How many weeks?  How long will this hospitalization be?  How long until we can go home?  How long until Amanda can go home to her apartment?  How long will we live the hospital life?

So that leaves “still”.

Psalm 46;10 Be still and know that I am God.

I’m trying.

Just Laurel