If you have been reading my blog, you’ll know that I recently began a new job at an out-patient surgical center. At work, I am the new girl. We are all dressed in scrubs and everyone looks the same. You can’t tell the nurse from the techs from the anesthesiologist from even the doctor. (Yes – the other day there was this girl in scrubs leaning on the counter by us nurses – and someone addressed her as Dr. ____ . Oops!)
As the new girl I try to do my job while I stand back and work on memorizing everyone’s name. And as I work and stand a little off from everyone (‘cuz I’m the new girl) I find it interesting to listen to the friendly chit-chat that happens between co-workers. One nurse has a married daughter with two grandsons she adores. Another nurse has a daughter who rides and shows horses. One tech is a dad who sometimes leaves work early to pick up his kids from school. Just by listening, I am finding out that all these blue-scrub-clad medical workers are real people with real lives. I am getting to know them. I wonder what they think of me so far?
At the gym where my bff Clara and I go to, we encounter many of the same crowd of people every morning that we work out. At first they all looked the same to us, but as the weeks went by we got familiar with the ‘regulars.’ (Yeah – stay away from the creeper in the camo pants, and OMG – check out those girls lips! … she was looking real ducky that morning!) There is this one guy who we always nod a “hello” to and engage in occasional conversations. One day he said, “By the way my name is Mike.” We found out that Mike had a daughter and at least one grandson, and that Mike used to ride motorcycles. We’ve been getting to know Mike. Just a little. But enough to realize that we haven’t seen him in about a week. Hmm. Now that we know his name and have gotten to know him a little, we are a bit concerned with him being absent.
Today my book, Amanda, Perfectly Made, is ‘live’ – that means it is available for purchase. People are ordering my book and the Kindle users have ordered and are reading already.
Today, I am terrified. There’s not going to be any ‘getting to know you.’ My book is about me, as a mom, and the journey over the past 29 years. I’ve shared my thoughts, fears, anger, faith, successes and fails as a mother to Amanda and her sisters. I am scared that, as a reader, you might not like me.
I have a friend who read an earlier version of my book for me and commented, “You better be prepared for the backlash and criticism.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant, unless there will be readers who are going to harshly judge me as a mom to a handicapped daughter and the choices and decisions I made. I don’t know.
There is more to me then being Amanda’ s mom. I am a wife, and a friend, a neighbor, a daughter, a singer at my church, an actress when given a script, a nurse, a co-worker, and a child of God. I am doing the best I can. It is my heartfelt desire that my book will touch the people who need to hear my story. God tapped me on the shoulder to write it and led me through every tap on my keyboard.
People can be made generic by the clothes they wear – with everyone the same in blue scrubs or workout clothes. Underneath those clothes is a person with a name. We all have a story. We all have people we love and who love us. We all have talents and responsibilities that make us who we are.
Walk a mile in my shoes and please read Amanda, Perfectly Made.
just Laurel
All your blogs are good, this one I really liked. Keep writing them, I look forward to reading them. Most of them are very thought provoking for me. Thanks.
Momma,
I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished in writing this book. Yes, there may be some people who respond poorly to the job you have done in raising your daughter, but just remember that they are reading it and judging it from their limited view on things. They didn’t live it…they just can’t understand. That is how I always feel when trying to describe what it was like growing up with a sister with special needs….it is impossible to explain it in perfect terms…you had to have lived it to understand. You did a wonderful job with the tools you had…look at us…we are well adjusted happy adults…..do you know how easy it would have been for us to end up down a much more destructive path?! SOOO easy….it was my parents strength and stability that kept me grounded all these years. So take the criticism…good and bad…but don’t EVER let it effect you as a person or make you doubt that you ever did the right thing!!! I love you and I am seriously so proud of you!!!
Jilly
Great blog Laurel while I have know you for a long time you have been in our prayers since Amanda was born remember Scott being so upset for you guys when Amanda was first born and that she had so many medical problems we prayed as a family for you then but you continued with the help of God to be the best parents you could be while we have not been the closest of friends you have been in my childrens lifes for a long time and I know Jennifer thinks so much of you too. So just want to say till someone walks in your shoes they should not judge but I feel I know the ending I see you in church I see your married daughters love you guys very much and you are letting and have let Amanda be all she can be she is a awesome lady too..Just wanted you to know that both Ted and you have been great examples to many people and that while we are not in each others lives a lot I look forward to seeing you and hearing your beautiful voice and your great acting skills at church may God bless you and Amanda as you go thru this next adventure in Amanda’s story..
Tonight i needed to remember i am a child oc god and loved by Him… thank you
OMG – You ARE special, Robin! And I know you’ve dealt with ‘stuff’ over the years. We all have! But I think you are pretty special and I cherish the years we’ve been friends. Now – we might even be able to share some time together. Finally. We’ll sit back and drink some wine and just reminicse.
Pop and I are so proud of the daughter we have raised and her many talents. We look forward to your blogs and the memories you have brought back to us of days gone by. What fun. Keep spreading your joy to all of us who know you, it is a God Send.
Love, Pop and Mom
Laurel, I saw a link to your blog on Facebook and just by reading what you wrote above I will certainly be getting your book! You seem to have great insight into people and I like how your words just flow smoothly, making it easy for me to follow your thoughts. As for being judged or getting backlash…Consider it a blessing and your opportunity to touch people (even those who may not agree with what you have said)! Life wouldn’t be as interesting if we didn’t have people causing us to think and look at ourselves! May God bless you and your family!